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March 2026 Babies 🇬🇧

Unsure if I want to BF - Am I selfish?

My second is nearly 4 weeks old and currently EBF. Whilst we are still very much both learning, generally breastfeeding is ‘working’. Ie he’s gaining weight and I’m not generally sore. However I’m really struggling with the amount of time we’re stuck on the sofa 🥲 and finding it increasingly difficult to latch in the night etc. So there are some issues.

I have a toddler who was formula fed after we couldn’t establish breastfeeding fully after being on a triple feeding plan. It killed me last time to throw in the towel after 3 weeks, but we then quickly adapted to formula feeding and it worked really well for our predictable schedule loving family. I feel I have the opportunity this time to BF my second son, but selfishly I’m not sure I want to 😭 other than it being really convenient to not wash/prep bottles, as well as having the ultimate soothing device, I’m not keen on the whole experience and it’s really affecting the time I have with my toddler. I’m also all for nurturing my newborn and that he won’t be this little forever, but that doesn’t make the solo sleepless nights any easier in the moment. And practically, I need to sleep at some point as driving feels unsafe at points!

Anyone else struggled with this? I fear that if I carry on, we’ll soon end up establishing BFing fully and he’ll refuse a bottle and I’ll be stuck. But also really proud we’ve made it work and feel ridiculous throwing away this opportunity when last time it was all I wanted. I’ve also started expressing s little bit with view of my husband being able to offer a bottle for one feed a day eventually. But it takes me A LOT to pump a bottles worth, so there is no time saving, which is my main issue. After one week of expressing several times a day I have enough stashed for 2-3 feeds 🙃

I am so conflicted and ultimately I know it’s my decision. Just wondering if I’m alone in this or if anyone has any experience with this conundrum. Thank you