Need advice

my husband is a different ethnicity to me and his mother doesn’t speak great English and none of the older members of his further family (aunts etc) speak any English. We stay with my MIL.
They are all constantly taking my daughter out of my hands (3 months old) and kissing her etc and it is making me so upset. My husband isn’t usually around to say anything and I can’t say anything as they don’t understand me. They seem to be very judgmental and have a very specific way about doing things (cultural) with babies and don’t understand not kissing them or tbh seem to understand basic respect for the baby’s mother. I feel like I have no choice but to allow them to take her out my hands as they can’t understand me anyway and I don’t like causing issues.
My husband has spoke to his mother about it but she tells him o she doesn’t do it🤣 and he is never there - as he works a lot- to tell the extend family when they are round (which is regularly) to not do it.
I am at a loss. I really don’t know how to stand up for my daughter and my self when they can’t understand me anyway? What am I supposed to do?
They literally just take her out of my arms I can’t hold her tight because I don’t want to hurt her and they can’t understand if I say no lol I just idk what to do. And the kissing too?
Help please

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Just further details. My daughter was in NICU when she was born. They all know this. Her immune system isn’t the best. I am a very anxious mama now because of all we have beeen through with her health.
so perhaps I am more cautious than most but still lol they don’t even care

Your daughter. Let’s start there. Actually let me put that one in caps. YOUR DAUGHTER. The one YOU pushed out/C-section for. If language is a barrier, sign language that shit. Mimic the action of kisses and say no. no is very universal. Also, your kid is in your arms, she stays with you in your arms. A roof over your head has nothing to do with possession over your kid.

My MIL doesn't speak much English so when she's visiting, we mainly communicate via google translation on our phones 😂 so I'd recommend trying that and then if they try to take the baby, just constantly say no or walk away while holding her. Can you learn how to say no or stop in their language? Because you could do that and just scream it at them until they back off? My husband had to tell both of his parents to stop kissing our daughter because they just do what they want and I was getting so upset and overwhelmed but luckily they listened to him. I hope you get it resolved

Honestly just move out. I know it’s easier said than done but honestly it will prevent so much issues and resentment. You should have your own space with your family especially if they don’t respect your boundaries and you don’t agree with how they are with children etc

A few ideas

Perhaps don’t let them round unless your hubby is there.

Learn the word no in their language and use it.

Sit down with hubby and mil and have a candid conversation setting out boundaries. Just say these are the rules and if you break them you won’t be welcome around the Baby. You don’t have to go over if she’s broken them before or not just draw a line and set the boundaries.

Perhaps have the rules on a wall in both English and their language so you can point to them when they break your rule? A bit condescending but could work?

Oh they understand. Everyone understands NO, and facial expressions and body language. They just don’t care.

in our community

How would this make you feel?

My ex husband cheated badly. He then went on to mentally and financially abuse me during our divorce when I got the guts to leave.

I later found out he’d started sleeping with one of my best friends. Why she went there is still a mystery to anybody because she knew how nasty he’d been to me. She must have lost her mind.

Anyway it’s been five years. I heard down the grape vine that they’ve had a rocky relationship but they did have a baby together. They also just got married too.

Anyway guess what. He’s done exactly the same to her as why he did to me.

Part of me hates the thought of this happening to any woman. Especially when kids are involved but the level of hurt the pair of them have inflicted onto me also makes me feel slightly glad! Karma caught up with her. I’m sad he’s not changed his ways, he’s a truly nasty person.

But I feel so conflicted about being secretly sorta happy this has happened. I could have predicted their ways would come back to bite them. Also I hate woman who do this to other woman. Me and my friend had been best friends since we’re 14!

How would you feel?
Has this ever happened to you?

Feeling guilty

I am feeling really guilty. My baby is almost 8 months old, has learned she can stand up and all she wants to do is hold my hands to stand up. She gets extremely whiny, whingy and frustrated whenever I’m doing something that doesn’t involve holding her hands. This morning I was trying to set up a new baby camera and I couldn’t work out how to do it and she kept trying to climb me and was shouting and whinging. I pick her up and put her down on her bottom and I shouted ‘enough’ and she got really upset. this is probably me just ranting but when does it phase stops?! She used to be entertaining herself up until a couple of weeks ago but now she just won’t entertain herself anymore. I used to play with her and I still do now but before I was able to at least leave her do to bits, now no matter what new toys I show her she won’t let me wash bottles, tidy up, make lunch without crawling to my legs and cry 😭 I end up having to put tv on for a few minutes so I can sit down in peace without her whinging or whining. It’s constant, literally constant

SMP is diabolical

How’s anyone surviving on SMP!? I don’t qualify for free childcare yet so what I’d be paying makes it my whole salary. I’m not entitled to any help at all benefit wise. Ive paid into the system for 15 years and there’s just no help at all. Honestly feeling so stressed and down 😩

Baby engaged

How to i get my baby to move further down? What helps he is 4/5 and im 38+2 and i really dont want to go over as im so uncomfortable now the thought of going over makes me want to cry. Any advice would be amazing please ive gone early or early ish with all my others so this is new to me

Am I being over the top?

When my baby was about 4mths old he was with his fathers parents (so my sons grandparents) and they fed him and they kept it hidden from me for about 2 months!
My partner found out and said they were wrong not to tell us and they agreed but said they knew that I wouldn’t have liked it.. so then my partner and his parents all kept it hidden from me!!! I feel betrayed by all of them. And now my partner gets in a mood when I say they aren’t babysitting our son…am I being over the top or am I in my rights to feel like this?
To this day have not said what they fed him and he was at the time suffering with constipation.

Anyone relate?

I feel awful all the time I can’t switch off at all since having my baby I feel like I have to be running 24/7 my partner helps but minimally he will sit and play cod while I’m doing all the washing after doing all the night feeds, says I should nap but then says he’s going for a quick shower and spends hours upstairs getting ready so I can’t sleep.. he was in and out during my pregnancy and he came back 4 days before I gave birth I feel like he’s just wanting to be on the birth certificate I’m worried about everything and I can’t rest, there’s been times I’ve missed feeds (she’s slept through) but she’s gone 5 hours without feeding at 12 days old because I’m so exhausted I’m not waking up to my alarm and will wake up to her crying hours after she should’ve been fed, I don’t want to be a bad mum but I don’t understand how people do it I can’t remember anything my head is like mash I can’t rest or sit down I’m worried my stitches aren’t healing because I’m doing so much they still hurt now the whole area feels really heavy I just want to cry all the time.