Is your child the priority?

I saw a post where the mother complained how people don’t understand how hard it is to go outside and have a meal with others etc because her toddler has a routine. She would have to pack food, toys, nappies etc and try to figure out nap time whilst outside so staying home is much easier. We all know what it’s like when your child misses their nap and then nighttime becomes a nightmare. Everything is out of routine. It affects the toddler. I’m assuming that mums who are always out and about all day long, have a toddler who goes with the flow and nap anywhere, eats anything and isn’t overstimulated? Personally mine seems to have a hard time in new places and new faces and enjoys her routine and comfort at home. For me, she is the priority but other mothers are saying that it’s wrong and the child should work around them, otherwise they wouldn’t be able to do anything. In my head, I’ve just accepted that until she goes to school, I’m going to be in mummy mode 24/7 for the next few years. I don’t see myself enjoying being outside if my girl is upset and tired. How do you do it?

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While I understand where you are coming from - resentments,transferred aggression and being drained might set in . You can be a mother and prioritize your kid but also look out for you . Your baby still needs a happy mama at the end. You don’t need to go out every day maybe dedicate a day or two to yourself.

You can plan the outing before the nap time you can always work around this routine

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I try to balance it, I guess. I try to get out and sure once in a while, we skip or push a nap. Or we get lucky with a stroller nap. But if he’s genuinely having a meltdown that cannot be fixed without removing from the situation or place, he won’t relax, then we leave. Because he is priority and so is his comfort and feelings. A couple little bags of snacks that he eats and his water bottle in the diaper bag with toys is just… I don’t leave the house without it packed like that anyway 😅

But we don’t decline things that are around nap times, specifically and just never get out. Though i will say we don’t leave a lot, but that’s on me and getting nervous with him being so independent now. 🥲

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It also very much depends on the kid, my daughter didn’t easily nap while out, but as long as I could get her 20 mins that would keep her happy. Thankfully less nap didn’t impact nighttime sleep or how bedtimes were.

Also, if we had a day out where her day sleep had been mucked about, the next day I would try and make sure it was back to normal.

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I'm thankful that my toddler does well when he is out with me, he does get impatient in grocery stores, but think that might be my genes lol because I get overstimulated in them. However, he can easily be calmed down with snacks (bananas, yogurt, sausages rolls etc etc). I might be a weird Mum due to the fact that it doesn't feel right when I go out without him so I never do ... We basically go out everyday even if it's just to a park or store to get a loaf of bread. The only time I don't take him is when I have antenatal appointments at the hospital because he isn't allowed at those due to policy. He's always with me and my husband wherever we go, even vacation or to a restaurant. Honestly, we probably wouldn't go anywhere where he wasn't allowed (outside of hospital appointments as he stays home with his Dad/my husband for those).

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Its very hard I struggle everytime I need to go our for more than a food shop.
But I still make myself take her out atleast twice per week if thats for a long walk or to visit family . Sometimes it messes our routine up others it doesnt unfortunately I think it just a case of keep doing it with them untill they get used to it. I hope it gets easier I worry if I dont ill have a super antisocial child . X

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My son and I go out in the morning, come home for nap, and then go back out in the afternoon. He and I both prefer it that way. He loves getting out just as much as I do.

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I’m just curious what’s going to happen when your daughter starts school? Are you hoping that she’ll grow out of it? I’ve always taken my son out and he was a literal nightmare as had asd so would be trying to get out of the buggy and would run off. However going out is also a routine and thankfully he did get acclimatised too certain environments. I’ve done playgroups that he’s hated but to help improve his speech and development. I guess when I had mine the emphasis was on going out and joining baby groups and reducing the risk of post natal depression.

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I always worked around nap time when it was 1-3pm I didn’t care what I missed out on lol. I wasn’t sacrificing nap time to get a weeks hell of sleep as a result. Even his first birthday party he slept the first hour😂 anytime he stayed at the in-laws they would tend to mess up nap/bedtime and I’d be paying for it the following week😂 he totally dropped naps after turning 2 so it didn’t really affect us for a long time x

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