Can’t get over how MIL acted postpartum
Recently back in contact with MIL after about 6 months of NC.
Since having our baby, MIL has repeatedly violated boundaries around the birth, postpartum period, and our no-kissing rule when she has hsv-1. Things escalated to the point where she showed up uninvited daily the first 2 weeks PP, made snappy rude remarks to me, made hurtful comments about my body and parenting, kissed LO multiple times after being told not to, and ultimately had a 30 minute emotional outburst where she told me LO was “her baby” more than mine and she loves her more and I wouldn’t understand because I’m not a grandmother, then physically intimidated me while the now ex and his father stood by and just watched. Leading me to cut contact for 6 months.
During that time she and her family constantly pressured my now ex, to leave me and also to just bring my baby to them, said a lot of negative stuff about me and cried on repeat every time he saw them. After a December apology and a seemingly successful visit in March, she demanded another visit just 3 days later and when I said no we will organise something in a few weeks, she pushed back demanding justification.
I can’t get over everything she did. She’s still her entitled demanding self and seeing her interact with my child makes me feel sick. We have another visit this weekend and I’m just so anxious about it.
Anybody else had issues like this? What do you do?
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There are literally no words for what I’ve just read. The woman is mentally sick and unstable! You don’t deserve any of this. I would keep her out of your lives, she’s dangerous…
The mother in law crossed so many boundaries. She wants to overpower your motherhood to your baby any way she can.
You need to get legal processes involved that all I could think to suggest. Something to keep the baby away from her if she is verbally abusive to you as the mother. There must be some type of legal processes that allows parents to keep extended family at a distance when you need it.
Yes, my MIL was terrible during my postpartum, so I distanced myself. I went NC for months, and at first she didn’t care because she assumed her son would still give her access. When that didn’t work, she suddenly started acting nice.
She sees my daughter now only on holidays and birthdays, and that’s not out of spite. On top of being nasty to me, she’s neglectful and her “discipline” is borderline abusive. She once bit her nephew so hard he had torn skin, and her teeth marks claiming she was “teaching a lesson.”
I’m a SAHM and my fiancé works all day, so she could’ve been someone I called for help, company, or errands. But because of how she acted, I don’t like her and don’t want to be around her.
She will never babysit, never have overnights, never take my LO anywhere alone, and she will never have unsupervised visits. She lost those privileges, and that’s on her. And if she can’t follow boundaries or be cordial, we’ll go right back to NC; for as long as she makes necessary.
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