Burned out
Let me start this off by saying, I don’t need any negativity. I’m not jumping off the deep end. I love my daughter 1000% and I wouldn’t trade her for the world. Did I choose to have her, yes. Did I understand my actions. Of course I do. So that’s not what I need nor want to hear as a response. But part of me genuinely does not want to be a parent right now. And I don’t mean pack her up and ship her off for adoption or abandoning. I mean the tasks, and the disciplining, and all the other stuff. Parenthood is fun, amazing, great..sure. But it sucks. It’s draining. It’s exhausting. And it’s chaos. And no one talks about it. Everyone talks about the bright side, and how lovely it is. But no one tells you how dark it can get. Do I sound depressed.. yeah sure. Probably. Am I? Quite possibly. But this shit is hard. And no. I didn’t just have her. She’ll be 4 in July. Are they’re great parts. Absolutely. Do I live coming home from work and hearing/seeing her excitement when I walk through the door! Of course. Do I love seeing her grow and accomplishing new tasks every day? Of course. Do I LOVE those tiny hugs and snuggles and random ‘I love you mommy’s throughout the day? Wouldn’t trade it for the world. But this shit isn’t for the weak, and there’s no preparation for it. Working. School (for me). Being the default parent. Managing all the day to day tasks for everyone. I’m burned out. And I can’t be the only one..
