Am I the crazy one

Girl youre not crazy and I understand wanting to stay but it sounds like hes never going to change. My ex was that way too, and he made me feel like I was the one in the wrong

Babe, don’t let that man gaslight you into thinking you’re insecure. You know what? If you do have insecurities, they were created by him, because of him. You are not wrong in feeling the way you do or thinking what you’re thinking. He lacks respect in the relationship and boundaries. Petty me will suggest to give him a teaspoon of what he’s giving you. Mature me is saying, verbalize once more your boundaries, and give him an ultimatum. Not saying leave him right away right because at the end of the day he is your family. There are children involved but you have to put your foot down.

My issue is that he’s now claiming he sees nothing wrong with blatantly flirting with women but you’re not even allowed to talk to now I will say an ex, eh, but still. If he wants to go tit for tat, he’s done worse and still is. The issue being that he won’t change because he doesn’t see anything wrong with what he’s doing. If it’s not sexting, it’s fine, he’s acting like a child trying to push boundaries till you snap. I’d start grey rocking him to see if he notices, cares and applies himself accordingly. Place your boundaries and have punishments in place, if he wants to act like a child, treat him like one. He has made these insecurities by disrespecting you and your relationship MULTIPLE TIMES

You’re so not insecure. That’s just him being disrespectful. He shouldn’t be calling anyone beautiful except you. In my mind that’s flirting. Sounds like he needs to work on himself if you’re going to stay. I’m sure the marriage counselor will agree

I’d leave him. He’s gaslighting you big time, and making you out to be the one in the wrong. I don’t think he’s fixable.
If you wanna make this work, I’d have him block those women, and tell him that he has to be upfront and honest for you, or I’d leave.

https://youtu.be/H_Dqczmp8Kc?si=t1HaSVA6BgBWENuM

He’s a narcissist babe!

Life is already hard a man is suppose to make it easier not even harder. Sounds exhausting hope you escape

So due to my religious beliefs I don’t agree with divorce unless there is abuse (physical, emotional, mental, etc) while cheating can be emotionally damaging, I don’t see it as a form of abuse (in my opinion, to each their own) so I agree with trying to work it out before divorce. However, I also am wondering why you’re still connected to an ex from 12 years ago? It sounds like the both of you have some unresolved feelings for others, even if you say “eww” then why keep the connection? In a marriage there should be no form of temptation to lead you away from your partner. And if there is, talk openly about it and being understanding and willing to support and work with each other. I say give marriage counseling ago. Most churches offer it for free or super cheap if insurance is an issue.

I understand what you’re saying about your children; it’s completely normal to feel that way.
I think you are being very mature and regulating your emotions quite well, but don’t you think that how you feel emotionally might also affect them? Or perhaps how they see the relationship between their parents playing out?
In the end, children seek out personal relationships in the future based on what they’ve seen at home—for better or worse—and if they see this kind of example, it isn’t good. You should both go to therapy as an ultimatum, and if that doesn’t work, consider a divorce.
Best of luck! 🍀