Lowering of drape

Hi all, I'm 30 weeks and having a planned c section due to significant damage from a 3rd degree tear with my first. I didn't bond with my son till about 14 months and am looking at the different choices I can make with the c section experience for my birth plan. Something that has come up is the drape screen being lowered at the point of delivery to see baby being born. After such an awful bond last time I am wondering if this could be helpful to stop things feeling disconnected but straight up am nervous about what I might see! Does anyone have an experience of this they could share and how they felt about it?

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You don’t see anything you’d rather not… the incision is really low down and your belly will be in the way. All you’ll see is baby ❤️ I did skin to skin straight after my c section. I didn’t feel an instant bond with my second (felt it with my first after a traumatic birth ) , it came after I left the hospital and was reunited with my toddler. So hard not to obsess over it but I just tried to feel what I was feeling. Hope it goes well xxx

I’ve had two and you won’t see your open abdomen. The light is so bright it just reflects back white on video/photos anyway. You’ll get a great view of baby as they come up! No gore.

Ive had 3 c sections. Did skin to skin with my first and lowering of the drape. I seen nothing. I have photos of him coming out of my section, which people think is gross to see but i actually quite like seeing. My second we lowered the drape but didnt do skin to skin as i kept fainting for a while (the little monkey kept making me faint by pressing my spinal cord, once he was out i was fine, just abit over protective that i might drop him from fainting). Third was a shit show, no drape drop, no skin to skin, nothing and she was taken to nicu before i got any chance to hold her (she was prem but i had bad preeclampsia and was scared my placenta may give up on her for being a chunky little woman).
The whole time ive seen nothing apart from the photos of my first coming out my section but i didnt actually see the opening while lead there

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Changing the midwife or not?

Hello!
I am having my 1st baby, so of course i don't have much experience with midwives and i don't know what's ok and what's not.
My current midwife is on holiday and i had 2 appointments with another midwife and i noticed a few inconsistencies in behaviour.
1st (probably not very important) my midwife (L) would not note anything down in my booklet. I thought i was supposed to do it, but i was being lazy and didn't fill anything in and midwife S was a bit surprised that it's empty, and the said that midwives normally do it.
2nd - on my 1st appt with S she measured my belly. And she said how i am now within parameters because on my last appt i was under. Which was weird fort me as i could not, for the love of god, remember L measuring my belly. I would remember something like that. So to me it looked like she just put a number there to make it look like she did. I didn't say anything, just thought maybe i completely forgot this happening..
3rd- L wouldn't even try, on my 1st appt to take blood from me, just straight off sent me to the hospital because i seemed to have difficult veins... S managed to do it straight away, and i didn't even know she was going to do it, and i didn't have enough water to make it easy for her, but managed anyway. Twice.
4th- on my 2nd appt i let L know that i found out my dad has diabetes, recently diagnosed. Mentioned it as i thought might be relevant but she didn't say anything ab it. And on my last app with S, i told her how i had a private scan (just bc i wanted to see the baby in 4d) and the person said that the baby seems a bit on the big size and he would recommend testing for GD. S said that they don't normally test for gd just bc a private scan said so. And asked ab my history, and referred me for a glucose test just because of my father having diabetes. And told her how i told L ab it, but apparently there is no note of this. And this test is done between 24-28 weeks and i am 31. It might be nothing, but it just doesn't feel right.

So now i feel a bit weird ab L. Feels like she is missing stuff. Now i don't know if she always told me everything she should. I don't know if i missed out on stuff.
Would you voice these concerns and chage the midwife?
Or am i exaggerating and should turn a blind eye?
Also - this is something i wouldn't know - is the midwife that you sew on these appointments the same midwife you'll have with you during birth? Because knowing that she is not on top of things during the appointments, would make me quite uncomfortable during the birth.
But if i would have a different midwife during the birth, then i might aswell turn a blind eye as i only have a few appointments left with her until the birth.
What do you think?

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