Help

Is it wrong if I finally start putting myself first?

Lately me and my other half have been arguing a lot about time. I feel like I’m always coming second to work, and whenever I try to talk about it, it just turns into an argument.

On Monday we were child-free (which barely ever happens as my close friend had our little one), and all I wanted was for us to spend some quality time together. I literally had to push for it. I suggested going out, doing something nice… but he went to do a “quick job” and didn’t get back until 8:30pm. By then I was just over it. He then suggested going out, but I didn’t even feel like it anymore.

The next morning we did go for breakfast before picking up our little one, which was nice… but it just feels like the effort is always last minute or forced.

Fast forward to today, I reminded him about something I told him LAST WEEK that we had planned for Saturday. He turns around and says he’s working. Then says he thought I meant bank holiday Monday… which I KNOW I didn’t say. It honestly made me feel like I was being gaslighted. He just dismissed everything I said and basically said “I told you I’m working Friday and Saturday.”

Then it turned into “you want me to drop everything to do what you want?”… when all I’ve been asking for is time and effort.

I’m just tired. Some days we’re okay, but most days we argue. He doesn’t see how he hurts me, and it always ends up being flipped into an argument.

I’m starting to feel like maybe this isn’t where I’m happy anymore. I’m even thinking maybe we’re better off just co-parenting.

Am I wrong for finally wanting to choose myself and my happiness?

in our community

My partner hates me for not terminating

My partner and person I planned to marry told me they resented me yesterday for my decision. They didn’t come home today and turned on do not disturb to avoid me.

It wasn’t planned and when I found out I wasn’t thrilled but have grown to the idea. They however didn’t want and asked for a termination. I agreed initially but as I processed it decided against it.

Yesterday they sat me down and told me they didn’t want this and felt trapped. I told them I had debated being a single mother because I don’t want them to resent me for this decision and they don’t have to be a part of this if they didn’t want too. They told me they already resent me for this and we kind of left it at that.

Today they didn’t call me to check in or come home. They text me to say have a good evening but nothing else really. This is completely out of character for them and I feel this relationship is pretty doomed now.

The thing is I’m terrified of doing this alone. I know I have some friends and family who could support but the end of the day it will be just me. It’s weird being apart from them but I also think I’m going to have to get used to it. I also think if I terminated our relationship would never be the same regardless and I would grow to resent him.

Has anyone been in a similar situation? What would you do?

Baby bels

Today I was telling my MIL what I had in the cupboards/fridge as she was looking after my 14 month old for the day. I mentioned he had a vegetable pin wheel, various fruits and said there were some mini baby which he enjoys. She suddenly responded ‘baby bels are the worst thing you could possibly give him’ and told me they’re full of salt. They have 0.34 grams of salt in and he doesn’t have one every day and I never add salts to his food (zero salt stock cubes etc) and he didn’t try things like baby bels until 13 months as I was really careful with salt.

I’ve been upset ever since and had mum guilt. Am I being over sensitive or would you be upset by this comment? And does anyone else give their LO mini babybels occasionally or is she right and are they so bad for him? He’s breastfed and doesn’t drink cows milk when offered so I’ve been trying to give him various cheeses and yoghurts to keep his calcium up.

Sons 1st birthday

What do you think would be more fun better long term (two boys)

Wants a dna test

Sooo, today I had my anatomy scan(thank god everything went well, especially with baby) but once again dad couldn’t make it.
I told him about it the day before and told him I was leaving my mom’s house at a specific time, either meet me at my house or the hospital, left me on read and never came. He then got the nerve to ask why I didn’t call him. Well one I was up all night finishing my hair by myself, rushing out the house, sleep deprived, and I told you when to come so that’s on you, not me.
Anyways , I told him why and apparently he didn’t like what he heard so now he’s talking about he wants a dna test. I’m gonna give him what asked for and im breaking things off with him. Not because I’m guilty but because I’m tired off always being accused or the identity our baby being a topic every time he doesn’t get his ways.

Too mad to punish wisely...

My 4 year old son took scissors to our old, heirloom, Ethan Allen couch that belonged to my husband's dearly departed grandmother - highly sentimental and probably the most expensive thing we own! He knows better and lied to me when I discovered the damage. My husband is deployed, naturally, or else I would let him deal with it. I'm shaking with rage, so I'm a deer in headlights trying to figure out what to do about this, but I can't just let him get away with it! I've always struggled with discipline, but this is WAY beyond my scope of parental skill - WTF DO I DO?!?!

Idk what to do🤷🏽‍♀️

Hey so I have 2 kids, my son just turned 4 in March and my daughter is 19 months. We live in apartments on the 3rd floor and we just moved in about a month ago. Our downstairs neighbors are constantly banging on the ceiling when my kids are playing and don’t get me wrong i understand kids stomping all day can be annoying so I try to minimize them running or doing things that make stomping noises and I feel bad because they can’t play how they want in there own home and my kids don’t stomp at crazy hours like I’m able to hold them off till like maybe 3 or 4 in the afternoon and go to bed at 9pm but they don’t stomp that whole time. So idk if i should maybe write them a letter explaining I have two little kids or am i wrong when they stomp at all?