Struggling - suicidal tendencies

This might be a long one but i need to vent.

Im really struggling, me and my wife went through IUI to concieve and everything was fine until she just left me when i was around 20 weeks pregnant. She was still involved with appointments and the birth but during this time still gave me hope of coming back - flirting, kissing me etc. We planned to spend her two weeks leave in the same house so we could maximise our time with our little girl. A few days in i found a pair of someone elses knickers in her bag. When asking about it, she lied again, and i kicked her out. We're now doing day on/day off with our daughter (which i know isnt ideal as its killing me pumping) and im not even bothered that shes with someone new, im bothered that she lied and the lack of respect for me as the mother of her child.

All in all im really feeling it, having suicidal tendencies to where im googling what meds i can take and planning a day but at the same time i look at my little girl and am struggling to think about missing out on her growing up. Im just truly fed up.

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Hey, don’t do anything stupid that you’ll regret. Your little girl needs you more than you think! This community is here for you

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I been there I promise you it gets better remember that little girl needs you in her life and how sad she will miss you dearly

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Sending prayers your way🙏🏽 I’m truly sorry you’re going through this alone. Please try and reach out so that you can have someone to talk to while going through this.

Not only are you trying to deal with this issue with your partner but you’re also going through postpartum your body is going through changes and I’m not sure if you have a lot of support. Your feelings are valid, and you matter just as much as your newborn baby.

Please seek / look into some type of counseling or community or someone that you can talk to and lean on. You’re not alone and there are people here that can help. 🫶🏽

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Stay positive U will get through this. 🙏🏽

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Sending hugs. The first few weeks are so hard without all the added stress you have. I’m sorry. It is not for and she should be supporting you.
Where are you based?
Can you reach out to your doctors, health visitor, midwife for some support?
If UK based there’s the crisis team (111 option 2) and pert natal team.

Feel free for message me if you want, I’ve been there with my thoughts so get it.

It does get easier. I feel way better than I did.
Please don’t make any permanent decisions. Your daughter loves you and wants you. You deserve help and support. There are people who care, even if it doesn’t feel like it right now and there’s so many people you haven’t met, things you haven’t done. Sending hugs xxxx

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As someone who has always struggled with these tendencies myself I know how ‚tempting‘ it might be and how much you crave a good solution to deal with this issue.

Please do not do something you definitely would regret. Think about it. You’re full of hormones, your mind and body all over your place.

Your little girl needs you in her life. I bet she‘d love to look for her wedding dress with you, her mother. Tell you about her first heartbreak. You want to see her graduation too I bet!!

Her first words, steps or drawings of you.

It might be too much to bare right now but please, do not miss out on your (!) life and the life of your daughter. It is worth living, even if it isn’t right now. But it will be again.

Hold on, mama. You can do this. And if you need to vent you can always reach out, okay? We are here for you.

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Your daughter needs you. I understand feeling like shet and wanting to get away but don't end things just because of that betch being bad news.

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Tw… 3 years ago I was in a coma after doing exactly what you described and I can tell you life gets so much better, you’re loved by many even when you don’t feel it I promise you. If you need a chat with someone who has been there I’m here xxx

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Feel free to message me if you want to talk to someone. I work in healthcare so I get the feelings, I have depression, and I have a crazy ex!

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