Messed up thinking?
So I have never had a cold sore and last week I got one. I have only been with my husband, except kissing one other man in college, otherwise my husband is the only man I've been with sexually.
I am currently pregnant in my third trimester, and it's been extremely hard, medically speaking, that sex was off the table for months... until last Monday when I felt I was able to. Well after that, I developed a cold sore a few days after. We have been together for almost 14 years, and have multiple kids. I don't share drinks or food with anyone and neither do my kids( homeschooled, so yes I know) We have never cheated on one another, we have discussed this many times out of respect we wilting do a clean break. But now I can't help but wonder. He doesn't know I'll be getting retested.
Is it messed up that I requested my dr office to put in an order to get blood work done for STDs?
I pepper sprayed my husband
Yes I know it is wrong and it’s not in my character to do something like that as I’ve never done that ever but imagine getting pregnant for a man you were dating that told you he was single and ready to settle down come to find he was still with his ex (found that out from checking his phone months later) you gave him the option to walk away when you saw where things were going with his attitude and behavior after finding out you were pregnant because I was prepared to be a single mom instead of dealing with the foolishness. He ended up telling you his morals wouldn’t allow him to do that and stayed playing the perfect father and family man at the time at home all while sneaking around with his ex and other women behind your back (serial dater) imagine being close to have your child and out of thin air his dad is going to tell him to do a DNA test as if I’m promiscuous all while it’s his son. You have your child and days after he put his name on the birth certificate he comes home with a DNA test kit. Distraught to say the least you decide to do it because there’s nothing to hide, you and this guy knows that the kid is his. The test is done and the grandfather got what he wanted, while still feeling cut up about the situation you put it aside and still pushed for your child to develop a relationship with the grandfather because that’s his only grandfather that’s alive. Shortly after giving birth you had a rushed marriage because you were a undocumented immigrant that didn’t stay voluntarily (been through some crap in this life) but you got married too because the relationship was going good living together, getting reassurance, trust started to build, feelings got stronger and you want to keep your family together to grow in that two parent household. Tell me now why after being with this manipulative individual, after coming back from a family vacation and about to transition into a new place, new job, he chose this time time to say he no longer wants to be in the relationship. You said okay it’s abrupt it hurts, take a trip out of state to get away and process. While on the trip he visits the baby and you allow because the plan is never to keep him away from his child. He comes and starts to get at you in the worst way as the icing on the cake he told me I’m unattractive so that’s why he looks at other women, he discussed me with his friends from the dating app in the nastiest way, has conversations with his family about me leading his dad calling me a criminal and fraud. I took it all, did nothing. He apologized (I still see him for who he is) and I eventually went back to a state close to where we were to start all over and co parent. With that I’ve put up boundaries like don’t enter my apartment I’ll hand you baby at the door, let me know where you’re taking my child at all times, don’t take my child around your dad he’s a evil man that has said nasty things about me and his grandson (didn’t even wish my child a happy 1st birthday and shows no interest to be in his life). Now he wants to override all those boundaries and come to my place, take my child to his house, says I’m being controlling smh I decided to give it all up because he’s trying to now demonize me and I let him do whatever he wants to do in terms of with his child so he can’t say I’m controlling I just go to my room whenever he over here. Now he decides to message me provoking and taunting me, calling me all sorts of names and when I react I’m the bad person and Saturday I had just had enough of the taunting and the hurtful things he kept on texting me and he came to drop off the baby and I took my child and sprayed his eyes and walked away. Now I’m stunned at how messy this has gotten and I don’t know what to do. The situation has gotten bigger than me. I’m depressed, stressed, can’t even start my healing journey yet because the problems still persist and I’m still having to deal with the individual because we share a child together. Anyone that has been through anything similar please feel free to let me know how you got back to peace.
