Overstimulated

So for a back story my boyfriend left my baby and I while he was 1 month to go back to work. He has been working for 6 weeks out of state so I don’t get to see him and I am taking care of our child by myself. I have been really proud of myself because I have been juggling exclusive pumping ontop of this. It’s super hard though and some days I find myself dragging and just on low battery constantly. I have fomo with my past life and think about all the time I had to do things constantly. I want to go to the gym or go do my normal maintenance things but just thinking about planning my pump schedule where I am a just enougher/ low supply is a struggle. I have wanted to quit pumping so bad but force myself to do it. It’s something I have turned so negative I can’t wait to be done doing and because of it I practically force let downs. To add to this I either have a sleeping baby that I am terrified will wake up when I pump or a screaming baby that doesn’t stop until I’m done pumping. He has milk transfer issues so I am worried if I stop all together and do nursing I will have to end up going to formula anyways. I’ve also gotten to the point where I literally don’t care if he cries.. which I hate. It’s like if I try to put him down and it doesn’t work I find myself putting him down for 5-10 minutes and just letting him cry until I’m ready to pick him up and calm my nerves and try again. I also notice sometimes I am so overstimulated I am rougher with him when he needs things from me. So in turn I cry and get really upset at myself for this because he doesn’t deserve anything but fragility. I’m literally overstimulated BADLY. My mom comes to help take care of him Friday night through Sunday during the day. But it’s just not enough being that I spend those 2 days working so I don’t even get to recharge myself by Sunday when she leaves. When he is in a good mood and smiling and not fussy I have to force myself to be happy with him and play with him when I literally would rather just sit in silence or sleep. I don’t hate my baby so I don’t know why I feel this way. I wish I had the help and it’s also caused my boyfriend and I to constantly fight and argue so I barely talk to him anymore either. I feel so lonely and the one person who absolutely needs me I forcefully am pouring myself into instead of doing it out of love and care. I wish my experience was different, I’m a ftm and he’s my rainbow baby so I feel so guilty about this.

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Hey, it is totally normal for you to be having a tough time in a situation like this! My husband was deployed for 3 months when my daughter was little and I felt the same about her. I was so sleep deprived by the end of it that I would scream for her to shut up and she would scream even more and I would instantly feel terrible and comfort her. When you are this sleep deprived and don’t have the help you need or any time to yourself it is so hard to control your emotions. I felt like i was constantly in fight or flight mode when it was time for bed and my daughter screaming would cause me so much stress. When your baby gets older I promise it gets easier and I know that doesn’t help you now and it can be hard to believe but now that my daughter is older I find it more enjoyable to spend time with her when I don’t have any additional support. What does your boyfriend say when you tell him how badly you’re struggling?

Hey lovely, I think it is totally normal to go through this. I felt exactly the same and still do. I am a ftm and exclusively pumping my rainbow baby! You are doing exceptional if you have got this far!

Do you use battery operated pumps or manual? If manual definitely try invest in a battery pump they help massively. Especially if baby starts crying while pumping.

How often do you pump? Try go out for little things if you can like a coffee date with a friend. It is hard to work around the pump schedule and feeding but I mainly work around the pump schedule and take bottle out and a spare preready made formula for emergencies. If you have a battery operated one I purchased spare parts so I dont have to panic wash and sterilise when I get home.

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Is life ruined

I feel like no one will ever love me or like me and my child I’m a single pregnant mom at 22 feel like this is gonna mess up my love life it’s already making me disgusted that I don’t know the baby’s father I’m disgusted with myself and my life is ruined I had a baby to young… I’m sad my son he isn’t here yet but I’m no longer happy I’m just depressed depressed with myself…. Hate my life feel like no one will ever date me and I won’t be able to have anymore fun… I was just in a abusive relationship now this a lot of guys don’t like women with kids…

Did moving your babies to their own room help them sleep better? (And also you) 🫠

My baby is almost seven months old and he has started to reject his crib, I used to be able to sleep with him on his crib next to me but now he wants to be in my bed, I love the concept of co- sleeping but my back hurts so much from it and sometimes I can’t even stand up in the morning. I read here that if you move them to their own room they don’t feel your smell and I thought maybe he would be able to sleep again in his crib (the first part of the night he is fine and sleeps almost three hours straight but the second half of the night he wants to sleep breastfeeding and I don’t think my body can take it)

Sleeping through!?

I keep seeing posts where people have babies who sleep through the night -my baby does not, but I would love him to!
What are people doing to get this to happen?

At the minute we start bedtime around 7-7:30, depending on his wake windows and naps through the day, we change his bum and baby grow and then feed him to sleep in his room, in the dark with white noise (falling asleep around 8ish). Then we hold him in our arms until we go to bed (around 10:30 and he doesn’t stir at all, he’s just snuggly) I’ll then try to dream feed (sometimes he does, sometimes he doesn’t). Then he’ll sleep in his basket until around 1:30/2am. Then he’ll get up typically once or twice more through the night.
During the get ups we change his bum and feed him back to sleep, I wouldn’t say he’s awake for more than 30 minutes during this time - he’s breastfed during this time. I try to keep him eating for as long as possible by tickling his cheek and feet etc.

What are you doing differently/what advice would you give if you have a baby that does sleep longer stretches/through the night?
Tia xx

Help

I am worried about something i just found while dressing up my 3 year old. Found a moving lump at her left side of a rib. I am definitely gonna ring up the gp tomorrow morning as i m scared it could be something serious. It s not hard when touched, it s not painful and at the moment playing and eating very well but just confused how it happened. Please has any one ever found such in their toddlers rib and it went itself or not . I m just freaking out . Pls help

Baby speech

Baby girl is 10 months old and I cannot get her to repeat what I say with the babbling and she’s not really doing gestures either. I’m at a loss right now. I don’t know what to do.

Night time feeds taking over a hour

What am I doing wrong 😭 every time my girl wakes up it takes me about a hour to feed and get her back to sleep. I breast feed untill calm then nappy change, give half breast milk in a bottle , burp then rest of bottle then she falls asleep and then frantically moves and does a poo. Then I change nappy and she’s screaming..then I give breast to calm then hold her for 15-20 mins to settle before putting down then pump and before you know it it’s been 1-2 hrs and then half way due the next feed 😭😭 (happens like this or some variant of this)

since she was born husband first feeds while I pump but he’s back to work now and needs sleep as operates vehicle and is on a work site.

I sometimes just BF but when I do this she falls asleep too soon and sleep is far more broken for me. After 5/6AM I just BF and have her in bed with me