Feeling so upset with myself
My son is 7 months old and we had still been breastfeeding, I recently started combo feeding as he will be starting nursery soon and I thought it may make the transition easier as I never seem to pump enough but he always feeds enough when Bf directly. He is also having 2 meals a day now and everything he eats is homemade.
I had made the decision to stop breastfeeding for a few reasons and planned to stop in the coming months but I was not emotionally prepared for how bad I would feel once I did, I read that some women take it worse but I have been inconsolable since and feel incredibly selfish and irresponsible.
I fed him for what I thought was the last time yesterday and had some of my friends joint last night to ‘celebrate’ thinking that once I’d stopped that would have to be it, (this isn’t something I did before my pregnancy and certainly won’t be doing it again) I didn’t have my son with me and honestly don’t know why I did it! I have been crying my eyes out all day and really really regret it. I think I’m now more upset because even if I wanted to bf him today I couldn’t. I also think I just wanted to join in as silly as that sounds, I’m the first out of my friends to have a child and it was nice to turn off mum mode whilst I had the evening on my own and my fiancé had our son.
Would it be safe for me to start again at some point? How much is it going to affect my supply if I don’t pump until it’s ok to BF again?
I don’t want to be done with it and I regret my decision so so much and I’m not sure what to from here 😔