My husband and I keep arguing about our newborns milk intake and possible reflux/tummy issues
We keep having the same argument! I'm tired of it, and he keeps making me feel bad.
I need opinions and experience from other mums. (I do also have the Health Visitor coming out on Tuesday)
Our baby is 3 weeks old and formula fed. She is currently having 4oz bottles made up but I am convinced she doesn't need that much milk in a single feed.
She will however finish the 4oz bottle. My husband assumes she's finishing the bottle because she hungry for it and wants to give her 5oz now.
However from my perspective ( the one who does most of her feeds), she will finish a 4oz bottle but is screaming her head off afterwards, scrunching her little body up so tight and is clearly very uncomfortable and in pain. (Even after burping) So this tells me she's either had too much milk and is having silent reflux (I can hear her bringing it up and swallowing it back down), she's in discomfort because she's just so small to be digesting the milk and needs smaller feeds, or it's extra wind I haven't been able to get up. Maybe its a combination.
So my solution is to give her less milk (maybe 2-3oz), wind her a few times throughout the feed, and then keep her upright. She may just want fed more often but that's okay, as long as she's not in major discomfort afterwards.
My husband thinks this is silly, that I'm starving her by giving her less milk and that I'm causing her too much distress by stopping to burp her multiple times. He thinks she's just hungry and there's no other issues. But he only does maybe 1 or 2 feeds a day, and usually he just puts her down after and I'm the one who deals with her 10 minutes later when she's crying. He doesn't put two and two together that the reason she's crying is probably the feed? Whether that be because it was fast, too much, reflux or wind.
She's fast asleep on my chest right now after I just fed her. She drank 3oz and I stopped to burp her 4 times, she burped twice and then again at the end and then fell asleep with absolutely no crying whatsoever. She did have a few little refluxy-sounds, like she was going to be sick but swallowed it, but she didn't seem bothered or in pain by it. So I feel like my method has worked better? And stuffing more milk down her throat isn't the right answer. I also understand that he thinks that because she will drink it if its offered, but I've tried to explain that she's likely drinking it because its comforting and soothing in the moment, not because she's hungry.
I always respond to her cues, and will never not offer milk! It makes me so sad that he thinks I'm trying to starve her.
For extra context, she is a big baby, so that's another reason my husband thinks she needs more milk. She was 9lb 4oz when she was born. She was weighed a few day ago and was 9lb 9oz. She is very tall though, not very chunky yet.
