Drowning in it

Is anyone else absolutely drowning in the whole mum thing? This is my second time around. My eldest is 3 and i also have a 13week old. I imagined I would be super mum while on maternity, cleaning, cooking, getting out, keeping the kids entertained and supporting their development. I actually feel like i have to sacrifice things because I cant do it all. I never did much with my first (poor mental health and not knowing what to do), so i know i am still doing way more now but I cant do it all. How are people doing everything? If i want to read to my kids it means i have to skip cleaning, if i want to feed the baby then I have to skip playing with my toddler. There doesnt seem to be enough time in the day to do it all. I'm barely eating and drinking because it means sacrificing something else. 🙄

in our community

Is there an asshole here?

I am needing to vent, but also looking for objective perspectives. I am currently feeling so hurt and disappointed and just down. So today at my son‘s preschool, they had an art show displaying all the kids artwork. Their school artwork is even included in a citywide art show. I was so proud and excited and told everyone that my son had art in the art show and I was going to see it after work. I had specifically planned my workday so that I would be in the area to go see his artwork after school.

Today is his dad’s day to pick him up. So I look on the preschool app and see that his dad had one of his close friends pick up our son for the first time ever! He didn’t give me a heads up or a reason or let me know at all. So I’m like OK my son’s not here so I don’t get to see him. But then I go to see his artwork and the preschool Director informed me that my son took his artwork home with him to his dad’s house when he left early. I felt so upset and immediately started to tear up. So embarrassing. But I was really disappointed and had been looking forward to it all day. So I text his dad and asked him to please send me a picture of my son‘s artwork since he left early and took it home with him. He sent me a picture and said nothing else. I told him that that kind of stuff is really important to me. And asked him basically if in the future if he plans to pick him up early and take his artwork out of the art show if he would let me know ahead of time. I told him that I planned my whole day around this. His only response was OK. I am fuming right now!!! I am so upset! Am I being unreasonable? I know this is out of my control, but I really feel like my child’s dad is the asshole here! We have been having difficulties in our “coparenting“ relationship lately. I feel like he did this just to get at me and hurt me.

Does anybody else feel irritated / annoyed about their husbands/ boyfriends ? Is this normal?

First time mom to a baby that will be turning 7 months soon and I love her but it’s overwhelming , tiring and overstimulating at times to be a mom and to be a wife … I feel irritated towards my husband and feel stand offish towards him . He’s a good dad and tries to help as much as he can but I feel like even when he does help it irritates me or bothers me which I feel makes me crazy 😅 our relationship has been okay but I wouldn’t say I’m the happiest I’ve been or that we’re on “fire “ for each other it just feels bleh right now not bad but not good.. anybody have any advice ??

Stressed about being out with baby

Not sure if it's just me but I have been feeling quite stressed about going out with baby because it messes up with the schedule and we spend more time preparing about the outing even if it's a short walk.

I am breastfeeding and I'm still not very comfortable feeding baby in public yet. Half of the times we had gone out with baby, baby has cried for a long time while being out which makes me feel more stressed and not wanting to do big trips out or stay out for longer than an hour. Anyone else is in the same situation?

We're meant to visit my in laws tomorrow and they live almost an hour away, so the round trip would take an hour half to two hours plus if we stay there for a couple of hours, we would be out for quite awhile. I'm just not sure I'm ready for that and I feel very guilty for that.

Feel bad asking MIL to leave early

I'm 4 days pp and MIL is staying with us for a week to help with toddler and newborn

I feel guilty but I asked my husband if she can go early because she's not really helping and it's actually creating more work.

Like she'll make toddler her breakfast or dinner but will leave all the dishes and mess.
She makes her own breakfast but only eats half and leaves her bowl by the sink, with the food still in, to be washed by us.
Won't do laundry/ washing up/ bathtime / bedtime. Idk why
Won't walk the dog.
Even made herself toast but double dipped so there's crumbs in the butter 😅😅 I think you get the idea.

She just sits and helps by holding our baby but honestly that's not helping especially since I'm bfeeding.

My husband thinks I'm being ungrateful but honestly I'm struggling to keep up with cleaning after her and juggling everything else.

Is it bad I think it’s nothing wrong with making your husband’s plate first?

1. I’d only do it for my husband not a boyfriend
2. That only applies for older children (preteen and older) little kids I’d make there plate first
My mother made our dad’s plate first and we thought nothing of it. He provided the food and was the protector of the house.
Your kids will grow up and start their own family and once they leave the nest it’s you and your husband. I believe and was raised to know you out each other first. It wouldn’t be a case where the kids eat scraps or hotdogs while my husband had a ribeye and asparagus lol his plate is just made first once they get older. Why is this so looked down on?

What would you do?

My friend has been talking to other parents about my sons disability. They both go to the same school and I know it was her cause the other parent who told my husband about it was someone we've never met before.

She asked how my son was with his disability and my husband was completely taken aback. I can't drive so I never do the drop off or pick ups. My friend is the only parent in the entire school who knows about my son's disability. It isn't obvious, it's a hidden disability.

Do I confront this friend and ask them about it? Do I let it blow over my head? I've distanced myself from this friend of mine recently. We also work together and she is avoiding me like the plague. Normally she's chasing my tail and messaging every five minutes.

Does she know that I know? Is she feeling guilty? I feel like she is because she is being unusually quiet at work. She hides in her office and never leaves, then goes home early. Usually she is storming around the place like a little hurricane.

She finally spoke to me a few days ago and she was very timid. I'm half tempted to call her out on it but I know it will cause an all out war.

So what do you think I should do?