Breastfeeding grief

Is anyone experiencing the same?

So with my first, I tried breastfeeding, pumping, combi feeding for 11 weeks and sent myself a little mad before stopping, going to 100% formula and everyone was happier. I grieved our journey big time, was so upset, triggered every time I’d see someone successfully breastfeeding.

This time, our early days started to look similar, baby wasn’t gaining weight, I was trying to feed around the clock but he was unhappy, I was unhappy, my whole family was unhappy. I have a theory that I simply can’t make enough milk, no matter how hard I try. At a week old, we made the positive and intentional decision to move to 100% formula. I then used a haaka to relieve discomfort and only got about 1oz each time (I know that expressed amounts are different to what baby can get but this helped me process it a little).

I know that this was the best decision for me, my baby and our family but I still have a small feeling of grief. I see a lot of breastfeeding posts on social media and every time I see them, I feel a little sad that that’s not me. I felt so ecstatically happy when I made the decision to go to formula, it made such a difference to us, but now I just feel a bit sad. Not sure if it’s baby blues disguised as sadness over our journey.

Is anyone experiencing the same?

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I've breastfed 4 babies and 3 of them did combi feeding with formula and it's sad every time I give up feeding, twice it's been because I get such a strong aversion to being a 24/7 milk machine and then I feel guilty and sad I haven't done it for longer ect ... Either way there is a sadness after stopping but it will go eventually.
You found what was best for you both and that's amazing but it's okay to be sad too!

I had planned on combi feeding from before I got pregnant. And I'm glad I made that decision as I've experienced something similar to you. I have only one breast able to release milk, due to some scar tissue in my other. And the one breast alone doesn't seem to want to make anymore than a few ml every time I feed my daughter falls asleep and doesn't swallow, just using me for comfort. And that's not helped. Had I had my heart set on completely breastfeeding I think we would have really struggled, I've had tears over what feels like my body failing me. I know my baby is getting enough to eat as I had gotten formula and her weight went back up at a good rate, within guidance. But that doesn't stop the heart ache of not being as good as other mothers. I know we shouldn't compare as everyone is different and every baby and breastfeeding journey is different. I haven't given up completely yet. Still feed at the breast as often as I can and pump when I can't. It's tough but I'm hoping a little is better than none.

I breastfed my daughter and she was a slow weight gainer and I had meds to increase milk, she weaned herself off me at 1 years old, every day I said I'm going to formula as breastfeeding is so hard! I feel jealous of those that can do it and make it look effortless and beautiful. I'm now breastfeeding my son who's 5 weeks old and want to stop and the guilt I feel is awful but I wonder if formula will be better for everyone. I'm literally in tears right now as my baby won't settle and has been on and off feeding since 3.30pm.

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Unpopular opinions, I'll start

I do not think stopping breastfeeding despite your ability to do so is what is best for your baby. I can't help but feel disgusted by formula knowing what their companies have done and what they still continue to do, and I don't trust that stuff. I would only use it if it was my only choice to do so

Feeling so guilty

I think I’m going to have to switch over completely to formula, my breastmilk came through but it just didn’t seem enough for my baby, like yesterday he just wanted to be on the breast and didn’t seem satisfied, so I thought I’d pump and check, for 30 minutes I hardly got 30ml from both breasts. I feel so defeated because I’m hardly sleeping as I guess he just wasn’t full. So I’ve given him a bottle of formula yesterday and he slept for a good 2.5 hours rather than waking every 20 minutes. I feel guilty because I really didn’t want to lose that bond and I know a fed baby is best but I just can’t help feeling like I’ve failed. Please if there’s anyone with any advice on how I can get my milk back, I’m more than happy to try. Otherwise I guess it’s formula from now on

Need advice from other mums! Am I overreacting?? Being a helicopter mum?

I’m going away for a night to support my sister during a court case that’s quite traumatic for her so I can’t miss it.

My boyfriend is taking care of our 7 month old. This is my first time leaving her alone for the night, my issue is my boyfriend fall sleep asleep when looking after her at night. He doesn’t do safe sleep and I walked in the room yesterday and she was wide awake kicking her legs and he was sleeping because I asked him to take over doing a night feed. He insists he wasn’t sleeping even though I literally had to wake him up to tell him he was sleeping and I was annoyed because she was close enough to the edge that if she rolled she would of be straight off the edge and she’s a roller! he said I was crazy getting so paranoid and he wasn’t asleep. We have an owlet and we’ve already had issues with that because when she was newborn he fell asleep with her on her chest and the alarm went off because she fell in between his arms and he was asleep but I don’t even trust him waking up to that alarm he’s a really deep sleeper. Thank god for the owlet!

I’m really stressed because I don’t want to leave her but I cannot not support my sister in this case it’s been so hard for her. Am I being a helicopter mum and over reacting? This is no judgment on co sleeping btw if he wanted to co sleep fine but he’s not done ANY research on it and the fact she on the edge of the bed makes me thing he doesn’t care. If I speak about it to him he gets really mad at me and just calls me crazy basically and says he wasn’t sleeping? So even when we talk I don’t get anywhere? I’m at a loss bc I can’t tell if I’m just being reasonable or being crazy would you leave your baby knowing this?

Night time nappies UK

My little boy has recently started sleeping a lot more on his front, so every night or morning he will wake up not only the nappy will be wet but his vest, pj's and sleeping bag too. He will usually wake up to be changed and have milk about 6 hours after going to bed. We have tried Aldi, Tesco, Asda & pampers and all had a similar problem I'm pretty sure it's not user error as it happens no matter who puts the nappy on and it has only been happening since he has been on his front most of the night. He is a size 4+/5, depending on the brand. I've even tried pull-ups, which seem to be better, but he is then wide awake and struggles to go back to sleep after.

Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated as there are only so many times I can wash the sleeping bags until there is nothing left 😂

Sorry it's super wordy

Any other stay at home mums hate it?

Is anyone else a stay at home parent and find it really bad for their mental health? I don't want my 20 month old in daycare/nursery yet and thought my mum would be able to take him a couple of days but she's proved she can't cope. I just find myself ruminating and getting stuck in my own thoughts without more to occupy my brain than just chores and playing. We go out every day at least.
Anyone else? How do you cope?
My mum is all like "oh I was off work on benefits for 16 years with you and I loved it!" Making me feel I must be an awful parent. But I've always loved working. Giving it up has been hard

My daughter (nearly 9m) has woken up with crusts on her lashes and waterline.

She does have a cold. Is this normal?