Toxic Mom... How do I not let her get to me?

Vent session about my mom who i have a really on / off relationship with thats very toxic.. long story short: over 2 years ago I was prescribed a new medication that caused adverse effects with my anti-depressant at the time and I had a horrible reaction with the two meds combined causing a medication-induced psychosis. Back then I was a single mother of 2 and I did everything in my power to get myself better. At first I was 302'ed and sent to the psych ward at the local hospital. I signed a 201 when I was in-patient there. I was there for about 3-4 ish weeks and got stable, on new medication, got into therapy, etc...

During that time, my mom helped with my 2 kids at her house. After I got discharged and life started to become normal again, she has never let me live down that I went through a mental health crisis.

I have always struggled with anxiety/depression/CPTSD since childhood, but this was different. I went through a full blown psychosis that I wasnt in control of. It wasn't caused by me. And I hated the fact that this happened to me and messed up so many aspects of my life back then... I try to give myself grace because it wasnt anything I did but she wont let me move on from that dark period completely. It was my pulmonologists fault. She knew my pre-existing mental health conditions and what medication I was on. She knew there was a severe black box warning for the new medication she was prescribing me and the risks and prescribed it anyways. She discarded my concerns and worries even whenever I told her over calls, through in person appts, and messages on the chart portal that I was having hallucinations, hearing voices, having paranoia and night terrors, etc. She told me the benefits outweighed the risks and it was one of the best drugs out there and prescribes it all the time with no issues.

Fast forward --

My birthday is this Sunday (May 10th and Mother's Day). I'm very big into the paranormal shows, investigations, etc.. so is my fiance. He got us tickets to the Paracon Expo at Penn Hurst Asylum for Sunday, May 17th as a birthday present.

We just need someone to watch our kids for us so that we can go (it would be a day trip)..

I called my mom to ask if she could watch them for us so we could go celebrate my birthday. She was fine with everything at first. She asked where it was that i was going for my birthday that day / why I needed a sitter.

I explained it was the Paracon Expo and etc. When I mentioned it was taking place at an old asylum, she completely cuts me off and says "Don't you think you've had enough time there?" in a snarky tone and laughs about it...

I just shut down and said "its okay, thanks anyways, love you bye"

Then, she gets mad at me and hangs up.

I dont know if maybe im just too sensitive about the subject or AITA? I think it just hurt me that she brought that up after so long of having growth and getting my life back on the path it was before.

I just really wish she could be more empathetic, but shes not.

(Some context thats gonna make people go crazy in the comments....: shes a nurse for our local hospital and works ER/med surg. BUT! shes in nurse practitioner school with her focus on psych and mental health.... and shes also trying to work at the VA as a nurse but has no respect for my fiance who is a USMC Veteran and claims he cant have PTSD because "hes too young and wasnt even in for 10 years".. make it make sense.)

Thank you for anyone's advice or kind words. Im sorry if theres any typos.

in our community

Feeling so guilty

I think I’m going to have to switch over completely to formula, my breastmilk came through but it just didn’t seem enough for my baby, like yesterday he just wanted to be on the breast and didn’t seem satisfied, so I thought I’d pump and check, for 30 minutes I hardly got 30ml from both breasts. I feel so defeated because I’m hardly sleeping as I guess he just wasn’t full. So I’ve given him a bottle of formula yesterday and he slept for a good 2.5 hours rather than waking every 20 minutes. I feel guilty because I really didn’t want to lose that bond and I know a fed baby is best but I just can’t help feeling like I’ve failed. Please if there’s anyone with any advice on how I can get my milk back, I’m more than happy to try. Otherwise I guess it’s formula from now on

Unpopular opinions, I'll start

I do not think stopping breastfeeding despite your ability to do so is what is best for your baby. I can't help but feel disgusted by formula knowing what their companies have done and what they still continue to do, and I don't trust that stuff. I would only use it if it was my only choice to do so

Need advice from other mums! Am I overreacting?? Being a helicopter mum?

I’m going away for a night to support my sister during a court case that’s quite traumatic for her so I can’t miss it.

My boyfriend is taking care of our 7 month old. This is my first time leaving her alone for the night, my issue is my boyfriend fall sleep asleep when looking after her at night. He doesn’t do safe sleep and I walked in the room yesterday and she was wide awake kicking her legs and he was sleeping because I asked him to take over doing a night feed. He insists he wasn’t sleeping even though I literally had to wake him up to tell him he was sleeping and I was annoyed because she was close enough to the edge that if she rolled she would of be straight off the edge and she’s a roller! he said I was crazy getting so paranoid and he wasn’t asleep. We have an owlet and we’ve already had issues with that because when she was newborn he fell asleep with her on her chest and the alarm went off because she fell in between his arms and he was asleep but I don’t even trust him waking up to that alarm he’s a really deep sleeper. Thank god for the owlet!

I’m really stressed because I don’t want to leave her but I cannot not support my sister in this case it’s been so hard for her. Am I being a helicopter mum and over reacting? This is no judgment on co sleeping btw if he wanted to co sleep fine but he’s not done ANY research on it and the fact she on the edge of the bed makes me thing he doesn’t care. If I speak about it to him he gets really mad at me and just calls me crazy basically and says he wasn’t sleeping? So even when we talk I don’t get anywhere? I’m at a loss bc I can’t tell if I’m just being reasonable or being crazy would you leave your baby knowing this?

Night time nappies UK

My little boy has recently started sleeping a lot more on his front, so every night or morning he will wake up not only the nappy will be wet but his vest, pj's and sleeping bag too. He will usually wake up to be changed and have milk about 6 hours after going to bed. We have tried Aldi, Tesco, Asda & pampers and all had a similar problem I'm pretty sure it's not user error as it happens no matter who puts the nappy on and it has only been happening since he has been on his front most of the night. He is a size 4+/5, depending on the brand. I've even tried pull-ups, which seem to be better, but he is then wide awake and struggles to go back to sleep after.

Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated as there are only so many times I can wash the sleeping bags until there is nothing left 😂

Sorry it's super wordy

Any other stay at home mums hate it?

Is anyone else a stay at home parent and find it really bad for their mental health? I don't want my 20 month old in daycare/nursery yet and thought my mum would be able to take him a couple of days but she's proved she can't cope. I just find myself ruminating and getting stuck in my own thoughts without more to occupy my brain than just chores and playing. We go out every day at least.
Anyone else? How do you cope?
My mum is all like "oh I was off work on benefits for 16 years with you and I loved it!" Making me feel I must be an awful parent. But I've always loved working. Giving it up has been hard

My daughter (nearly 9m) has woken up with crusts on her lashes and waterline.

She does have a cold. Is this normal?