Mamas with depression, anxiety, and other mental health disorders

The father of my kids wants to have a redo on mother's Day tomorrow because of his bad behaviour today..I'm not interested

We decided to go for lunch today and take the children to a play place afterwards to celebrate mother's Day today because we thought it might be less busy at restaurants than tomorrow. From the moment I opened my eyes he was yelling at our daughter to shut the f up because she needed her diaper changed and needed breakfast. We get to the restaurant and our son who is non verbal was vocalizing a bit. He wasn't super loud and nobody seemed to care and it was fine. He starts yelling at him to shut up. That makes our daughter cry who then he starts getting angrier. I told him to relax, and he said shut up you stupid bitch. So mother's Day is ruined. Every day that isn't about him especially if it's for me goes badly every single time. Then he starts saying we are embarassing, he's the issue. I told him he could go sit in the van because me and the kids were going to eat. He says he will uuber home I said go ahead. He doesn't leave. Most of the food came out but not his entree. More pouting, swearing, general bad behavior. It must have been noticable because the server asked 3 times if everything was ok. He eventually got his food. We ate in silence because I'm just done. I took the kids to play like planned and he doesn't understand why he'd have to come and look after his own kids. Angry they don't have the right coffee. I told him I'm sorry he feels he's more important than everyone else and the jerk agrees he is more important. I had to use the toliet and I told him he would have to watch the kids. I get out of the washroom and my daughter is playing unattended in a different room. I stayed with her and he didn't even look for her for 30 mins. Glad he cares his toddler didn't get outside on the road or kidnapped. Came home and he went straight to the video games. I'm relieved at this point because he can just stay away from us so we can try to enjoy the day. Comes out later and blames the day because he missed his pills (I'm assuming he means antidepressants) and we will go out for lunch again tomorrow. He does not apologize to anyone. I don't want to go for lunch. His behavior today already confirms he doesn't respect me or want to celebrate me. I'm very disappointed.

in our community

Money

Hello ladies x

I just wanted to ask the mums that don’t pay parts of the bill/rent, and your partner pays everything. Does it feel like a weight off your shoulders?

I wish i had this and honestly been feeling so down about having to pay parts of the bills and some how during the month my husband says he has no money so its more on me to pay for things… but he goes out with his friends a lot but swears he doesnt spend money.

I just want to imagine my life being a bit more privilaged 😅

Husband swearing in front of child

My husband and I are from two very different backgrounds, in his childhood swearing was used just as part of everyday language by his mum,brothers etc. my husband having met me and seeing I don’t like swearing or use it in my language has definitely toned it down however when he is angry usually if someone cuts him off driving or if he drops something in the house etc he still swears and I’ve asked him time and time again not to in front of out two year old. He continues to do it and while I recognise he is trying hard it just doesn’t seem good enough to me. What do I do?

Genuinely so flabbergasted

Laying in bed last night scrolling on my phone when I see this pop up. A message from my only auntie who I hadn’t even personally told about the pregnancy. The only times this woman has texted me in the 6+ months has been to ask for money. The first one was Christmas and I was planning on sending her some cash anyway as I usually do most Christmas’s for her kids my 1st cousins. The second one I ignored and she texted
Me the next day saying nvm I figured it out thanks, and now this one which by the time I actually woke up in the morning the message had been deleted and I guess we are acting like it didn’t just fricken happen.

I just need to have a whinge - newborn visitors

I just had a baby 2 weeks ago (and also have a 3 year old)
I'm not close with my dad's side of the family but they all visited today (8 people in total)

We have a fairly small house and not a lot of couch space/seats. I ended up standing or on an old hard dining chair most of the afternoon. My dad offered me a space on the couch once but I kept having to get up so it didn't matter because...

1. I preperared lunch for everyone. Sandwiches, cut up fruit for all the kids (there was two other kids 6+3yo, plus my 3yo) and sorted juice, biscuits etc. My husband was on teas and coffees in case you were wondering why he wasn't helping me, he was!

I served lunch up and then I was hovering about because my chair kept getting taken.

I held my newborn baby for maybe 10 minutes the whole time. Everyone was passing her around and eventually she got fed by someone else and fell asleep. She absolutely stinks of perfume now. Why would you soak yourself in perfume when you're going to visit a baby???

The 6yo was a nightmare and for some reason I was the one watching him, his parent didn't even pay attention to him at all.

He went outside into our garden because I had the back door open as I was too hot. He then started climbing all over our garden furniture, like jumping on it and I could see his weight bending the wicker. I kept telling him to come off the furniture but he would just jump off for 2 minutes then go back on. He then kept going round the side of our garage where its quite wild with trees and overgrown bushes. I told him again to come out of there, he came out with a massive 4ft stick and started waving it around and using it as a sword. At this point my 3yo was outside with us and he nearly hit him several times. I told him to give me the stick and he wouldn't. I felt like I was just waiting for him to hurt himself or someone else or break something. He was just running riot and nobody was watching him but me. He ended up bringing loads of my sons toy vehicles outside and throwing them across the garden. He then picked up a football and deliberately threw it over the fence into the neighbours garden. I was losing the will to live and told him he had to come inside. Later on I noticed him standing at the table taking bites out of all the pieces of fruit and spitting it out onto the dining table. There was just a pile of chewed up grapes and strawberries etc.

I'm sure kids will be kids and maybe I'm just not experienced with what 6 year olds are like yet but his parents would not watch him at all and it was making me so anxious.

The other 3yo was great but she kept picking up my baby's dummy and trying to put it in baby's mouth, which was sweet of course, but she kept touching the dummy on the sucker part and then shoving it in baby mouth when she was really content and not wanting it at all. I had to say oh I think baby is just sleeping she doesn't need her dummy just now.

I feel like I didn't sit down the entire time or cuddle my baby the whole time either and I'm so overwhelmed and overstimulated now..

Maybe I'm being too sensitive and whinging too much but I thought when visitors came to visit a newborn that the mum wasn't meant to be running about parenting their kids and making food etc... 😭

Screen Time

Ok I’m seriously interested in how much screen time your toddlers get. TV, phone and iPad combined even if it is educational games or tv. My toddler does at least 4 sensory trays every day. We go on an outing. Spend hours on the garden digging, riding bikes etc. but I still feel like he gets too much screen time don’t know if I’m overthinking it.

Rant about husband

Can I ask how much your husband helps around on weekends? And I don’t just mean looking after the baby (almost 2), but also thinking about what needs to be done around the house etc.
We have one child almost 2 years old, husband works full time long hours 5 days a week and I work part time and sahm rest of the week. I don’t mind doing everything needed for the house during the week but I expect help of a proactive nature on the weekend. At the moment it feels like I have to ask several times for him to even take the bins out and it’s so exhausting having to ask him over and over to do anything around the house. Am I expecting too much or what can I do?