What should I do?

hey ladies 🖐🏻

I don’t know if I’m the one that’s being to much but I’m currently in a 6 year relationship with the father of my kids. we recently had our 1 month old in March which is our 3 child. Ever since adding a 3rd baby it has been nothing but rough.. I don’t have my partner through all of it I’m a SAHM currently until I go back to work once our 1 month old turns at least 5 months but anyways, we recently got into a bad argument I believe Friday night and I finally expressed that I don’t feel valued, or respected by him and you ladies know what he said? “ I don’t value you nor have respect for you. You’re a phenomenal mother at home but outside of the home you’re nothing “ I’m currently not driving and I’m almost 30 years old which I understand his point of view I have been studying and by the end of this month I will be getting my license. but anyways he’s always stressed out, always on his phone. I feel like he will never understand me nor my feelings, or even have respect for me nor value me. It’s so hard to know when one day he tells me “ I’m sorry you’re valued and respected it’s just hard to say it “ and then the next “ I don’t respect you or value you at all. “ mind you he does have a problem with drinking ever since I met him in 2019 he doesn’t have both parents in his life both are junkies especially the dad, he’s the black sheep of his family. Every problem he’s had he goes straight to drinking at least 8 or 9 tall boys even when he gets off work he goes and gets a couple beers which rightfully so but I’m just at the point that I have been done I tried to tell him that we don’t connect, we don’t express ourselves, we don’t keep a conversation going anymore, we don’t have anything in common. but it seems like he just hates his life and he’s bringing me down with him.. he’s had that lingering his whole life he hates his life not his family but his life in general. I finally want to be at peace and be happy!

in our community

Should I speak up

My mother-in-law on multiple occasions has been making comments that I feel like are trying to provoke a response.

Full disclosure, we have always had a great relationship. She is super sweet and understanding but since the baby was born I feel like the lines have gotten mixed. Or maybe I'm just a first-time mom who is overanalyzing everything

First, I've expressed anxiety over going back to work after my maternity leave is up in late June. On two occasions in front of me and once over the phone with my husband, she says something along the lines of “ number of weeks to go or you are going back to work soon right?”

Second, right in front of me she says she's going to take the baby home for a sleepover. Due to my horrible poker face, she quickly backtracks and says “Grandma doesn't make milk like mommy so I guess I'll wait” or “Mommy can come too.”

Lastly, she likes to refer to my lo as her baby on occasion she’ll throw in “Grandma’s baby” but most of the time it's “my baby.” (This one is annoying but the least of my concerns).

So, am I overreacting? Have you experienced anything like it?

Would you attend a funeral with a baby?

Girls.. help! So my nans brothers funeral is tomorrow and we were only going to go to the wake because who tf brings a baby to the service, let alone the whole days worth of planning for naps and feeds. Yet my nan is driving me crazy keeps pestering me and my mum repeating herself about "oh but can't C(my partner) just wait in the car with R(baby) and then all go to the wake together". Like are you f****** kidding me, its so disrespectful and makes me not even want to go, I'm only going in the first place to be respectful to her, I barely knew him. Now I've just found out that bringing a baby to a funeral/wake is bad luck. So now I don't even want him to go to that. Honestly I've had enough with this bs. What would you do? Would you bring your baby to a wake?

Help needed please!

Little one has just turned 6 months, has been weaning for a couple of weeks but all of a sudden has turned into a right cranky demon around milk time - he cries any time the bottle goes near his mouth, teeth are sat in the bottom gum but are not making any appearance yet! Do we think he’s teething or could it be something else? Stressed he’s not getting enough milk - can anyone suggest what I could try! Thanks a stressed out mum who wants her boy to love milk again! Xx

Partners

My baby boy is 11weeks what’s everyone’s partners like helpful non helpful and what do they do to be helpful

Am I being over sensitive?

I’m pregnant right now and I have a baby under 1. I’m super nervous because my husband really doesn’t help much around the house most days. He says it’s because he’s tired from work. Or if he had too much to drink with his friends. Or tired from golf. Either way there’s always an excuse.

I am a stay at home mom so I understand that is my job and I’m happy to do it. But I also would like to a break especially now that I’m pregnant again. Even when I wasn’t, I never said “i can’t take care of our child because I’m hungover”.

What do I do? I’ve tried talking to him about it and he just keeps saying he needs to make money for us. Truthfully I have no problem spending it so it should all make sense to me. But I’m just annoyed and worried what life will be when I’m a little less mobile from pregnancy or when I have a newborn and a toddler 😭

‘I need to step up’

I need to step up is what my husband told me.

I need to vent. Randomly out of what I thought was a civil and playful conversation turned into what I feel was a personal attack on me. I was asked when last did I do skin to skin and it’s honestly been a while. I responded well you can do the same.

He then proceeds to ask why I haven’t bathed her today. Why I haven’t brushed her mouth. That he relies on me to do stuff first to encourage him. I paused and asked, so who do I lean on when I need some fucking encouragement?! Idk about you all, but I feel like I’ve REALLY tried. I didn’t have an established bond with her at first and she’s just a month+ old. I feel like the bond is coming & I’ve put in work to make that happen so it just really sucks that my husband has continued to trigger me instead of uplifting me & cutting me some slack.

He gets to go out with his friends, go to work and have a break when it suits him. If I sleep for long periods/ask him for a helping hand it’s ’oh you need to step up’ . So much happened but we’d be here all day.

This whole experience has been so traumatic to the point I have no interest in having another child at all. I’ve put up with disrespect for far too long.

I contacted perinatal mental health to self refer & then called ooo to vent and decompress. The next thing is ‘oh they better not take my child from me’?!?!? What?! I need this for me! I need help because I can’t get the mental help from him or family. They’ll judge me & I’m tired of protecting him when it’s damaging me inside.