What do I do

My mum has been ignoring me since I was 1 week postpartum because she was upset I didn't use her name for our newborn. It's been over 2 weeks she hasn't spoken to me and now she's randomly messaged me asking how I am. No acknowledgement at all that she's just ghosted me through probably the most difficult 2 weeks of my life? Just a casual "hi how are you doing? xx" Like??? Do I even reply? What do I say? Do I just pretend she didn't have a full blown temper tantrum? Do I just keep doing this over and over again?

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Sometimes we have to gentle parent our parents. Id welcome her back but explain that while you understand her feelings are hurt, it was not a decision made to intentionally hurt her. Her reaction however did feel like it was intended to hurt you and you dont believe thats fair, especially in duch a vulnerable time

Personally, I wouldn’t have anything to say. She’s a grown ass adult who threw a tantrum. Your support system wasn’t there for you at the most vulnerable time of your life. Yeah I’m good. She doesn’t get to text like nothings wrong. If she started with an apology I would still be very unhappy but that’s something to work with. Asking you how are you when she should know, yeah leave me alone.

Why did she think you’d use her name? Are you named after her mom? I would be tempted to respond but realise that you need to protect yourself for your own sanity and have boundaries in place. Maybe she has realised that she is missing out and regrets her behaviour.

It depends what you want. Do you want her in your life right now regardless of if she can be the ideal grandparent/mother that you need postpartum? Then you should respond in a way that feels authentic to that desire.

If you only want her around if she can provide that then you should set clear boundaries and expectations about how this was not appropriate and hurt you. Potentially also adding that if it happens again you will not be interacting with her, if youre ready to back that up if necessary.

If you don't think she can do it at all and its better for your peace to not have her around during this huge period of transition for your life, ignore her.

Better to address it upfront and set a boundary immediately.

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