What’s everyone’s thoughts?

You need to set some boundaries. He ended the relationship and is treating you like a maid and your house a hotel without taking any responsibility or having a commitment. File for divorce and sort the arrangement formally if he won’t cooperate

Drop the baby off to him at his or go out and have some mum free time. Make 1 set day a family day where you do something out, all together. The rest of the time be separate, that’s what he wants, that what he gets

Girl, boundaries. Please get some. Why are you allowing him into your home constantly? If he wants to be around his child as much as possible he wouldn't have been thinking about leaving. Now that he has left for whatever reason there needs to be some type of schedule. Since he wants to be around a lot, can yall do 50/50 split of the time? Does he have his own place? And what exactly is he doing with your child when he comes? Is he spending quality time with the baby? Are you leaving and going out to do things you would like to do without the baby?

Yes definitely set boundaries, if he is coming for your child there will be no chilling on the sofa or even coming and going as he pleases he is the one who chose not to further the relationship therefore things will not still run the way they were when yall were together. Because then he feels he can still control the situation your house your rules.

If he is coming to see his child why is he chilling in the sofa and eating your food ? I mean this is not parent time this is taking advantage of your place and your lack of boundaries. I would insist to find an arrangement. He is just willing to come and play a bit with the baby while you do the full actual parenting and chores. He should take the baby at his place and feed him, clean him and do all the jobs a real parent has to do for his child. He wants to be a dad, let him be one but a REAL one. Not just a loser who takes credit for being "present" while doing actually nothing. Hope you can find a way to be comfortable with that. I can imagine how hard it is to have to let go of your time with your baby.

Thank you all for the comments. I will answer everyone’s questions in one message. When he comes over, he is playing with our child but he will sit down and eat or sit down and have a coffee. He still asks for my help in changing him and doing his nappy. I offer to go out or leave them be and he says no, and he would like me to stay with them.
He has gone back to live with his parents in a tiny bedroom so he cannot have him there, but I just don’t know how to deal with it because it is not like we are coparenting normally he just comes around and I just stay here because he wants me to but I don’t want to go out and leave him in the house on his own x

So all of that sounds like a him problem, and you not having boundaries for yourself. There is no reason you need to stay at the house while he is there. If you don't want him in your home then he needs to figure out how he will see and take care of his child when it's his turn. Set some rules and if he doesn't want to follow them, then guess what? He doesn't actually want to be a parent. He sounds like he just wants to have the best of both worlds. Be separated from you and do his own thing, but also come around freely. You should file for divorce and get a visitation schedule in place. Whether it's a few days a week, or the weekends however you do it something must be done. Don't just give in and do whatever he wants. Think about what's also best for you

Sorry I did forget to mention though which is quite important that he is paying for this house until the start of July so technically he is still funding this house. I don’t know if that makes a difference to anyone’s opinion on this.? X

No that doesn't make a difference lol. He can't say well I pay so I can come and go as I please. It doesn't work like that. Will you be paying come July? Or will you be moving?

He’s got the best of both worlds, freedom of a single man and family life when he chooses. He’s walking on you babes

I will be paying from July and staying in the same house.
Please don’t come for me guys. I am very weak and been gaslit for years. I don’t see things how others see them…
He is just confusing me as the other day when he came round he was flirting with me and then the following day he didn’t even speak to me apart from asking how our child was. I am just really lost and confused.
It’s really raw, so I am happy for him to come round and see him but he isn’t doing responsibilities that her dad should be. I am literally doing every single thing for our baby and all he does is come round and play with some toys with him for an hour every day or every other day. X

I know that he is not taking on the responsibilities that her dad should be, but I am not comfortable leaving him alone in the house when it is my house now yes he is paying for it but he is completely off the tenancy

I know you guys think that I’m crazy, but please don’t come for me as I can’t see things how other people do x

We’re not coming for you, we’re telling you what you’re saying you can’t see. We can’t make you stand up for yourself but you definitely need to & set boundaries. Right now he’s just getting to do whatever he wants, why would he do more or change it?

No I am ready to hear what you’re all saying, I just feel stupid. X I appreciate all
Your opinions x

So I don't think you are crazy. And I do believe you can see things as we do, but you have probably been led to believe you are crazy, overthinking things, just being totally gaslit by this man. But he has done things to make you weak and to get his way. So I totally get how this can be a confusing time. But I just want you to look deep into your mind and heart. You know this doesn't feel good and isn't right. He told you he doesn't want to be with you, so that's it. Now you have to navigate what you want coparenting to look like.
This is now the time for you to take back your power. Set the boundaries. If you don't want him in your home that is ok. If he really wants to be a dad he can figure it out. He can take the baby and make it work.