Lost for words

My husband and I had been together almost 16 years. We waited years for our miracle child and finally had her in April of this year. The pregnancy was rough just constant bickering and back and forth. My daughter did 11 days in the NICU and was home for 9 days when my husband finally left us. According to him, I put him out but emotions were high so I disagree with him. He doesn’t believe in postpartum and said he was sick of my attitude. He’s been gone 2 full weeks. He’s responsible for our rent and car insurance. He told me he wasn’t going to pay because he hasn’t been here. He’s working on getting his own place. I am at a loss for words and broken hearted because I didn’t think it would get this bad. He refuses to come back home. I know divorce is inevitable but he’s absolutely left my daughter and I bone dry. Idek where to turn so I’m just venting here. Thank for listening.

in our community

Would this annoy you?

On my husbands side of the family his mum has lots of close family friends (aunties) we call them aunty -insert their name-. They have all decided to call themsleves grandparents.
Grandma -insert name- ....
I dont like it. I find it too much that they've decided they get to be called grandparents. Theyre not blood related and although theyre close friends to my MIL. They are not my kids grandparents so I dont like them calling themselves that.
All my uncles and aunties are great uncle -insert name. Or I like to call them uncle -insert name- the great for fun. I wouldnt call them grandma or grandad. To me it is special to be a grand parent. You dont get to just chose that youre grandma this or grandma that. Also my step mum finds it really special to her that we gave her granma title, her kids aren't close with her so its reallt special to her that she has been given that title. So for all these people just to be deciding they get that title too kind of makes it feel less special and I also think it would make her upset to know all these people have the same title. (Like she says thank you so much for letting me be grandma to your child, its so special to me- just for her to find out my daughter has 10 granmas, kind of takes away from her being given that title if you get me)
Like its a privilege to be a grandparent, not a right, you also dont get to decide youre a grandparent when youre not.

Would you allow him around your child?

So my step son used to have really violent tenancies when he was younger. I mean like 4 years old to about 8 years old. He got excluded from his first day at school at 4 years old for throwing a chair at a teacher. Then my now Husband would get messages almost daily off his ex saying he'd been hurting his baby sister. And one time he got really angry cos his little cousin pulled his hair she was only a baby.
Anyway he was only little so I thought he'd grow out of it. And I didn't hear anything for years about anything.
Anyway recently at our wedding he was bullying his little cousin tripping her up and trying to take our wedding favours off her. She's 6 and he's now 11.
He's an odd child anyway I can't put my finger on it he just says weird things.
We have a baby. And I don't want him around our baby alone anymore.

TV turned on at Chikdminders

I just had my furst settling session with a childminder snd she had Cocomelon turned on. She said she has solar panels so that TV stays on the whole time. obviously I asked her to turn it off but I am sure she will keep it on when i am not there. I am surprised that this is acceptable? How would you handle this

Out and about

Right ive come to realise ive been thinking about this consistently for a while so I just want to see what everyone else thinks.. since my LO was a few months old I have done everything with him, I live in a warm country and im barely ever at home because Im always out and about, hes 6.5 mo now and I dont know if ive been over doing it being out with him all the time, im worried its too much and he should be in the calm consistent environment of home and maybe I messed up the first period of his life by not prioritising making my life all based on him.

My partner thinks its all really good for him and im just worrying, for context my LO is super chill, hitting all his age appropriate milestones and really giggly and happy. So maybe i am overthinking it but I just want to know if theres a limit...

Walking

Hey do anybody want to start walking with me?

Mentally struggling

My husband and I have hit a rough patch. We have a 4 month old baby and things have just been hard. We got into a bad argument the other night and I mentioned to him the next day when we were discussing it that he was about to lose his wife. He said “I’ll never lose my wife.” That’s where it hit me. He knows I’ll never leave. He knows in order for me to actually leave he has to do something against my children or cheat/beat on me. He knows I’m extremely forgiving with everything else. He knows my love for him has no limits. It has me truly thinking. I don’t necessarily want to put that fear into him, but I want him to know he better act right or he can lose me. Then again who am I fooling? I’ll never leave this man. He’ll never leave me. How do I get him to realize some of his actions are not acceptable in my book. He does what he wants again because he knows I won’t leave, and I won’t leave.. so is there another way?