Aitah—-Preemie baby
My babies are possibly being discharged this weekend! The Nicu called me today saying to bring my baby A car seat in and she’ll be able to take her test, but one thing I hate is that they are still waiting for baby B to gain weight, and if it was really far off I’d understand going home with one and not the other. But she’s currently 3 pounds 11 ounces from last night before she ate at her care time that we were at around 10pm. So she isn’t too far off so I don’t want to go home with one just to go with the other the very next day or 2 later when they could just go home together! I don’t want them split anymore than they’ve been. We currently don’t have car seats (and we’re capable of buying them whenever/wherever) but we put it off until we know both will leave and test same day. So we’ve told them we don’t have it et and waiting for family who said they were on the way so we can have both leave. Later today I’m gonna call again and ask if my other baby can also test so we can leave same day since she’s not too far from 4 pounds. But I’m also scared they’ll think we aren’t capable of caring for the babies. Even though we have everything else at home cribs, bassinets, bottles and formula and ect. Is this wrong for me wanting them home on the same day. I’ve had a dream of just waking them both into our new apartment and showing them both their room at the same time and being able to settle with both rather than doing it with one baby while my other is still listening to beeping machines in the nicu still.
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Definitely not ideal and understandably very upsetting. Certainly not wrong to want them home at the same time.
However from experience nicus can get very busy, and by freeing up a bed this means another vulnerable baby can be cared for and potentially avoid a transfer to another hospital.
My baby decided to come on a busy nicu day and thankfully they managed to secure a bed. The initial plan was to transfer, if we had I probably wouldn’t have a chubby 9 month old by my side.
I get you. Once you’re discharged you’re discharged. You don’t want to have any sort of back and forth with NICU as it’s not really a nice feeling. Perhaps just echo the feeling to the staff and tell them you’d rather both babies be discharged same day, maybe portray it as though coming back and forth to hospital would take a toll on you mentally? Rather than say anything that would make them feel you’re incapable in the slightest. Considering you have two, they should understand that having a LO plus having to go back and forth is a lot for one to do and for that reason you’d like them to be discharged on different days. But get the car seat anyway, since your baby’s close to the weight! Wishing you all the best ☺️
I’m a NICU nurse so I understand the journey and experience.
As much as it’s preferable to go home with both, it’s preferred if one baby is ready they should go home. It enables them to begin to adapt being with you full time, it also minimises them picking up any HACI (hospital acquired infections) and also helps you to get used to caring for her outside of the NICU environment which is completely different than being at home.
I would purchase the car seats and prepare for baby at home.
It also allows you to still access NICU support if you encounter any challenges with your baby at home as you will still be in visiting your other baby.
In terms of the beeping - it’s distressing and traumatic for you but remember it’s all your baby knows.
You may find when baby is home they are not familiar with the lack of noise etc.
I’d also be very honest with your nurse and ask can both be discharged and if not what’s the threshold for baby B to meet so she can go home?
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