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Baby Daddy Drama

I don’t think my bf is in love with me anymore…

Okay so this year was my first Mother’s Day and he didn’t give me anything, he remembered that it was Mother’s Day really late even though the day prior I had told him in excitement that tomorrow was my first Mother’s Day. He didn’t do anything for valentines even though I kept telling him how much I wanted to go out for valentines since it was going to be our last valentine alone. (Because I just had a baby) he told me that he was going to take me out but didn’t, didn’t plan anything, didn’t go outside and pick a flower for me from the ground.. NOTHING.. I went through his phone recently without him knowing and he still has pictures of his ex wife.. he has more picture of her than me. He also still has naked photos of the girls he met before me. And they’re in his hidden file. Which I can’t access anymore.. idk what to do.. we have a 2 month old baby boy. When I was in labor he called his friend and told him to be there for his emotional support.. I felt like I didn’t have anyone because he was focused on other random things. He wanted to call his friend WHILE I WAS IN LABOR but I told him no that I needed him. He kept on telling me how he should go home and get everything ready.. so I let him after I gave birth. He took HOURS. Called his friend, his friend went over to “help him”. Fast forward 3 days later I get discharged from the hospital and come home to the house being completely the same as I left it.. Idk did he just not want to be there with me for me??? My family is 2,000+ miles away from so I felt like I had literally no one. I am 2 months postpartum and I keep thinking about all the things that he did and didnt do in the past and I’m getting angrier the more I think about it. I love him but I don’t think he loves me… I am currently going through postpartum depression and he barely helps me with the baby. He’s home ALL DAY EVERYDAY. When I take too long in the shower he gets upset. When I don’t clean the house he gets upset every little thing I do can trigger him if I don’t do it the way he likes. He calls me names.. yesterday we got into a fight and he pulled my hair while I was carrying the baby. He said “i could punch you right now”. I want to leave him but I don’t work and he’ll file for custody of our baby. And he’ll most likely will win. I feel so trapped. I feel so defeated.. I don’t want this life for my baby.