Sleepover pressure

Hey mamas

Looking for some advice here as to whether I am being overbearing…

My son is 4 years old and I also have an 8 month old daughter. My MIL has been pressurising for my son to sleepover since about 2 years old.

I have never felt comfortable with my son staying out, partly due to breastfeeding and co-sleeping but also as I have experienced abuse from a family member in childhood.

Now my son sleeps independently I am feeling an immense pressure, I have explained I will feel more comfortable with it in a few years when my son and daughter can go together and they are a little older but she’s just not getting the message. She’s even started planning with my son for when he comes to stay saying things like ‘what will we have for our midnight snack?’ And ‘grandad will have to sleep on the sofa so you can sleep with nana’ this is driving me absolutely nuts as she knows how I feel and I feel she’s trying to manipulate the situation by getting my son excited.

The question is how do I approach this? I know I’m not comfortable with it and he’s my child so my rules and shouldn’t have to justify myself but don’t want to fall out with her or cause a problem. We get on well otherwise but she’s making me feel like I’m ruining her experience as a grandmother😟 anyone had similar or any advice?

Thanks!!

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Has ur husband said anything to her? Maybe suggest she can stay w u guys for a mini sleepover?

Personally. I would have your husband say something to her. Perhaps he needs to mention that your boundaries with your kids aren’t negotiable. He can bring up the past event to help her understand, but your husband needs to stand by you and make her understand why you guys are choosing that

just say no that hes too little right now and still needs his mums let her have her delusions about the sleepover and explain to your son that you would miss him a lot if he went and you would cry for him all night so he cant go yet because hes your little baby and he needs mummy incase he has a nightmare or something

Your husband needs to say mum, he's still not great at night so how about we all stay round on sat night and you can put him to bed?

& he needs to sleep in his own bed not in the bed with her that's annoying! X

Also 4 is too little to stay overnight anywhere. He will get homesick and sad and miss you guys at night

I don’t think there is anything wrong with your mil wanting a sleepover and 4 is not to little. Sounds like your son does want to go. You can always pick him up if he changes his mind during the sleepover. He may enjoy the 1-1 time. Does he spend time by himself with his grandparents during the day. When my son stayed at my parents he had a travel cot and then an inflatable cars mattress but would join them at some point in the night. That said your rules and it’s not a no it’s just the fact there hasn’t been a reason to and the fact you feel your not ready to.

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