How do you know when you need help postpartum?

With my first baby I had terrible anxiety, my health visitor was concerned as I wasn't sleeping for weeks (despite baby sleeping well), so she referred me to the GP, who just told me it's what motherhood is like and I'll be fine in a few weeks.

I think that experience has totally knocked my confidence in asking for help. Maybe I was just experiencing regular mum anxiety but I haven't had it this time round with baby number 2 so.. idk.

What's happening this time round is harder to describe. I'm not anxious, or sad really, I just don't feel much at all. Or what I do feel is sort of like dread? Or like I just want everything to stop, everything is too overwhelming and I hate this phase. I hate both kids needing me, I hate nor having time to breathe, and that just going for a shower or making myself food feels like I'm borrowing time, and that I'm always rushed.

My husband is a great support, he does loads and I couldn't ask more of him, but even with him here I still feel like I can't slow my brain down or enjoy anything. I feel guilty when he has one kid and I have the other, especially if he has our toddler because our toddler has really taken this adjustment hard and needs me more than ever. Any time I'm not with him I feel terrible. It's meant I'm struggling to really feel close to my newborn because the only time I spend with her is when I'm trying to feed her and get her back to sleep. Any time she is calm and sleeping I can't just cuddle her, I need to put her down and use that time to be with my toddler. I can't breathe or go eat or do anything for myself. I hate it.

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Which one is more dangerous? How does this help you?

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Baby falling

I feel awful and can’t get it out of my head, i was somewhere yesterday with my baby where it was gym mat like flooring, everyone was giving my baby cuddles when then she got put in her car seat just to settle down before we headed home, nobody had strapped her in and someone had moved her (the handle wasn’t locked nor was she strapped) it wasn’t lifted very high but she fell out and face planted the floor :(
she has abit of a red mark on her nose and a little bruise (isn’t broken) and had an instant swelled lip but has completely gone now.
Safe to say i will be checking her myself in future, unsure why im writing this suppose i just have major mum guilt and need to get it off my chest as family just keep bringing it up 😔

Advice

Hi I had a really hardcore traumatic birth on Wednesday evening which resulted in emergency c section after nearly 24 in labour and an infection, since leaving surgery I am staying in for a few days but my baby has decided she will only cluster feed each night and morning then contact nap obviously during this I don’t sleep because safe sleeping but this is killing me I am already so exhausted from the surgery my partner has tried helping but he’s also absolutely drained

Older child copying younger

I’ve a 29 month old. Speech is so good, she sings and she communicates so well.

I’ve also a 9 month old, she does mama dada but also obviously loads of baby noises.

29mo has started to copy baby, using less and less words. Which is driving me crazy.

Is this normal???

Excessive daytime sleeping at 5 months old

Hello! I am wanting some advice as I’be had conflicting information! My baby is 5 months old and if I let him, held sleep for 3 or more hours during the day, but at night he sleeps max 2 hours before waking up. He’s breastfed but was bottled fed for the first 8 weeks, he simply will not take the boob unless he’s starving, if that helps at all. He is fed throughout the night when he wakes, which is fine because he was originally on the 0.4th centile and is now up to the 2nd. I want him to have as much milk as possible. My question is, should I be waking him up during the day? The health visitor says yes but the GP says no! What do I do?

People keep saying my baby is too attached...

How do you deal with this? Both friends and family keep saying it. My mother is the worst; we've not always had a good relationship. She (in the 90s) used the 'cry it out' method, admits she locked my brother in his room when he kept getting out his cot (thinks it's funny), would put me in front of a tv to go for a cigarette (leaving me alone), and used fear as a form of parenting my entire life.

I am the exact opposite. Because of this, I believe we (my baby and I) have a strong healthy bond but she believes I spoil her and she cries to manipulate me... My baby doesn't do well with being held by most people (other than me and my husband) but I don't think this is an issue.

I guess this is mostly just to rant but am I right? Do my baby and I just have a healthy bond? Is it even possible for an 8 month old to be too attached to their mother?