Trust gone or over reacting?

So my partner already has children and this is my first just turned a month out. LO is a month old and the wind he has been suffering with lately is awful!! Barely settled in the day. I do all night time routine and my partner sleeps has done since day one. So last night my partner said he will stay up with him about 9;30 pm as he is a night owl anyway and will bring LO up when he comes up to let me get a bit of sleep. I said to bring him up as soon as he shouts or drops off, I'm am against co sleeping and we also have two cats who think baby is a warm snuggly friend. I have just woken up at 1:30 to no baby in the room gone downstairs and he is a sleep on sofa with LO set up between pillows next to him!! At his feet I am so cross as it's so unsafe and my partner jumps about in his sleep, let alone perfect spot for the cats to get on top of baby trying to cuddle him!. I brought baby straight upstairs and went back down to wake my partner so he didn't freak out when he woke up and there was no baby. His response I've only been asleep two hours and Im already a parent and have more experience then you. Am I right to be fuming with him? Feel like he has broken my trust with baby

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Sleeping with a baby on a couch is far more dangerous than cosleeping in a bed. I know of a baby that died that way. My trust would be gone.

Eh yes you have a right to be upset but I think he’s also right as well. He has done this before. I don’t think it’s safe with the cats but sleeping on the couch baby doesn’t move because he’s one month so being in between pillows I think is fine but I can understand why you’d be upset. Being a first time mom can definitely be overwhelming and be extra cautious. I think you just need to talk to him and share how you feel. Appreciate that he’s done this before and was willing to help and let you sleep but also share that you are a new parent and want to do things differently too

Can appreciate he was trying to help you get extra rest and catch up on sleep, but that shouldn’t come at the expense of safety. Tell him you would just rather have been woken up to resume looking after baby, rather than be met with the stress of what COULD HAVE gone wrong. Just because he’s had a baby before doesn’t make him an expert (between us: especially if his previous partner was doing all the night shifts like you are now), if anything it might give him a false sense of security for taking shortcuts that are proved to be dangerous, even life-threatening.

Bottom line: he meant well, but his help was counter-productive. Ask him whether he’d prefer to help out at a different time of day if it means actually being awake to look after baby. If he can’t promise you that, you’ll find help elsewhere. That should give him a reality check

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