Leaving

I'm leaving my husband. I can't do it anymore. I've decided that I'd rather be a single mother than a married single mother. The terrible part is that due to his anger issues, I have to do it secretly. Any tips on escaping an abusive partner?

I'm already looking for a new place in a different part of the state where I have more support of extended family and friends.

I had to breakdown and tell my mom everything and she and my family feel it is best that I go to the other city because I don't have anyone here except him. He has been verbally and physically (throwing objects and shoving) abusive so I have to basically plan and escape because telling him straight up might result in a situation that would land him straight in jail. I really don't want to do that to him.

I do love him but as a mother of a little girl I have to show her better than what I'm currently experiencing.

in our community

Feeling miserable

My relationship with my husbands the worst it has ever been. We got married last year (and had a baby) and ever since the wedding we couldn’t be so far from the couple we were before. We argue all the time, he walked out on New Year’s Day, he’s shouted at me and I’ve seen a side I don’t like (I will hold my hands up and own that I’ve not been my best self either at times). Not sure if it’s because of how up/ down things have been but I’ve got no interest in being close or intimate with him even as simple as hugs or kisses. Recently I had a minor disagreement with my mil which she totally blew up and created a false story against me. She sent horrible messages about me to my husband calling me controlling, using my past mh issues against me and being rude about my family. She’s turned all of the family against me and has said they don’t want to see anymore of me. The last few days my husband and I have argued constantly and are barely speaking. He’s said things about my way of parenting that really hurt me. I honestly feel so miserable and low and fed up of how things are. No idea what to do. Been together 4 years and I’m questioning if we are actually compatible for each other

Is being unable to do a nappy ridiculous?!

So my boy is 20 months and we don't have daycare. When I need some time to do something I have to schedule it for a day my mum is not working (she's part time and nearly 70). However she can't really have him for more than an hour or two alone. She can't do his nappies...I admit he is really hard to change now. It's like a wrestling match and if there's poop involved it can take someone having to distract him, hold the phone with dancing fruits playing etc to ensure it doesn't go anywhere!
My partner thinks it's ridiculous she can't do it but I kinda get it....
What do you guys think? Any tips!?

Desperate

At this point I just feel desperate for my marriage to go back to not feeling like a war zone. Not even “normal”, just calm for longer than 12 hours. He doesn’t feel appreciated nor empathized with, I don’t feel heard or supported. He uses sex to feel confident in our relationship and I need to feel confident in our relationship to have sex.

It feels like we’re operating on different planets. I miss my marriage and husband. We see a couples counselor as well as our own therapists.

I’m still struggling to let go of resentment from the past. I’m also struggling with how he needs to learn everything “the hard way” despite debatably over communicating with him on my needs.

I definitely spent a lot of time relying on him too much but his avoidance in communication is breaking me. It’s a lot, too much. I’m tired and sad all the time.

I don’t even know if I need advice just not to feel so alone all the time.

Weaning

Ive just started weaning my 5 month old today do i automatically do three meals a day or one meal and work up to three?

Crossing the line or overreacting

Im a married stay at home mom to a 2year old and 1 year old and currently in nursing school. Lately I’ve been feeling really lost within myself and emotionally disconnected in my marriage, and I’m trying to figure out if I’m overreacting or if my feelings are valid.

My husband and I share bank accounts, locations, passwords, etc. A few months ago he went away for two weeks for a work training for law enforcement and started hanging out with a new group of guys. One night he bought a round of shots for some girls while out drinking and I found out because I looked through his phone. Recently he had another out-of-town training and ended up going to a strip club with the guys. I saw the location and noticed a large cash withdrawal from our account.

When I confronted him, he basically said I only find problems because I snoop. He says none of it means anything and that it’s just harmless guy behavior flirting with random girls, joking around, getting numbers “for fun,” strip clubs, etc. He says they do stupid things to bond as a team. He always says that he’s a man and i am a woman we are not the same. He says we know we want to be with each other and that we should be happy with each other we aren’t swingers and we don’t want to cheat as long as he comes home and doesn’t physically cheat, it’s harmless and I shouldn’t even know about half of it.

The thing is, I genuinely don’t know if I’m being too sensitive or if my boundaries are reasonable. To me, flirting/getting numbers while married and hiding things crosses lines emotionally, even if no physical cheating happened. He never said he physically got a number but he says as guys we will be at the bar and we will talk shit and say to each other oh I bet you can’t get that chicks number and then we will hype each other up so he’s like we just do dumb things.
He says I evade his privacy and it’s not right because I’m just looking for issues to make a problem.

To me certain things are crossing the LINE and he should know this being married. But he also says if you go out I wouldn’t think to ask you what you do I’d just ask you if you have fun as long as you’re not cheating then we should be okay. So to me he’s saying I can go out and flirt with men and receive drinks without him getting upset.

I love being a mom and I’m proud of being in nursing school, but I also feel like I’ve completely lost my identity outside of motherhood and marriage while my husband still gets freedom, hobbies, trips, nights out, gym time, etc.

Ewan the sheep

Would you recommend? I didnt have one with my daughter but looking for things to make life easier i have brought rockit zed this time round