Husband and baby boys(long vent)

Hi all.
I'm a ftm,currently 6,5 months postpartum with twin boys.
I've posted before,ranting about my husband.
I'm just enraged and annoied with him constantly!!!!
He never does any housechores with the excuse of being extremely busy with work,if he will do couple of dishes at night,he will tell me..there u go..i did your dishes for you..if he ever decides to fold any laundry it will be at 2am waking everyone up!
I am being very patient but because of him I cry and cry and mentally I am not ok!
3 months postpartum he told me to just get over it and be the strong woman I always was!!
After an accident I had with one of the babies falling of bed,and feeling all the guilt inside,he started screaming what terrible mum I am,baby might die from internal bleeding or have brain injury.(very reassuring,right?)
Thankfully I stayed calm and checked him and he was good.
Soo many fights!I can't take it anymore😭
The only time he watches the babies are from 8pm to 1am so I can rest!!
I told him I don't know how long I can do this.
He started screaming that divorce is out of the window,because he wants our kids to be raised by both parents together because he believes they gonna have issues if we get divorced.
I explained to him..its better seperared and happy and give all the love to our kids than being miserable,sad and fighting-screaming all the time.
And today one of our fights was because I asked him nicely if he could try to pee sitting sometimes so he doesn't make a mess on the floor tiles and on the mat.
And I mentioned I would like us to show our kids maybe peeing sitting??
He got furious..only girls pee sitting down.
I tried to meet him in the middle to maybe show them in the future both ways and they can use whichever they prefer..and obviously he got angry again suggesting they will have their boy bathroom and I will have a girl bathroom.
And after all this he called me Hitler!
I hate him!
He makes me feel like crazy,like I am always the problem!
And I'm sooo tiredd!!
I have to remind myself to be strong for my babies but I'm falling apart inside😭😭
Am I overreacting?
Also,boy mums,what way did u show your boys to pee?

in our community

Inlaws need alone time with baby to bond

Away from you the mother

My first night out

Feeling a little sad and regretful. My son is 14 months and long story short I’ve never left him with anyone watching him. His dad and I moved back in together (long story) and the other night one of our friends called and asked for a DD from the bar 10 minutes down the road. They both suggested I go and hang out for a little while after baby goes to sleep and then drive him home (he lives on the same property as we do). Not sure why I thought it was a good idea to try my first outing by myself while my son was asleep, given that no one else has ever rocked him to sleep or been with him in the night before but his dad convinced me it’d be just fine. He’s also never slept through the night so I knew he’d wake at some point. I went out for about an hour before he called me telling me he woke up and wasn’t going back to sleep. I obviously had to wait to tab out and made it back about 30 minutes after he told me to come home and apparently baby was crying almost the whole time. He said he would get him to fall back asleep for a minute or two before he woke up crying mama again. I know it’s bound to happen at some point but I just feel really discouraged that my first outing was kind of a fail. I wouldn’t have even gone had my friend not asked for a ride home from the bar, but it is what it is. How do you ever get used to leaving your babies?? How do you trust anyone to be able to soothe them? I’ve been wanting to go get my nails done, and thought that would be a good ‘first outing without baby’ during the day. But I really don’t want to put myself in a position that I can’t leave immediately if he needs me…

Concerned

The way these books and videos have yall afraid to take care or do anything with you little ones are insane! Yall parents didn’t have access to none of this and yall turned out amazing!!!! Yall are going to have a nervous breakdown trying worry about what a book say! LISTEN TO YOUR PEDIATRICIAN! And mom (only if she was a good example of a great parent) and SCREENTIME be having yall in a chokehold smh LET THOSE KIDS BE KIDS!!!!

Seen a lot of in law posts recently

Why are in laws so difficult? Yet my parents dont cause any bother to my partner!

Play break

Is it rude if I tell my toddler i don't want to play and need a break. I do enjoy playing with my toddler,but every day I play with her to the point where I need a break. I keep telling her to play with her blocks magnets, eggs or her other toys. But she still wants to play. I can't help,but to sigh in annoys. I just need a hour of no playing. The only way I been able to have me time is to put on the tv,but I don't want to keep relaying on it. Am writing this while she is next to me playing with her cooking toys, I guess that is her playing on her own,but I just don't want her playing next to me because it feels like she is still asking me to play. And she is asking what am doing. I don't want to be rude to her

Mother in laws

I’m really sorry for this long post but I just cannot cope any longer. I’m so done trying to be nice to this woman, I just physically cannot have a relationship with her, she infuriates me so much with her snide comments.

Today I took her to my little boys nursery because she’s been banging on how she doesn’t get time with him. She has such a problem with him going to nursery she can’t get her head round why he needs to go. She turned round to me a few weeks ago and said “you prefer to pay a stranger to look after my grandson over me who’s his family” for context he goes to nursery because that was mine and my partners choice whilst we’re at work, he only goes 3 days a week but he absolutely loves it and all the staff comment on how lovely he is, plus we feel it’s important for him to learn social skills and he’s got some lovely little friends, he’s going to be 2 next month.
My “MIL” works full time still so when exactly would she like me to make time for her to see him when whenever we try to see her she always makes excuses up that she’s busy. And also it is not my job to make sure she has a relationship with him it’s hers.

Anyway we got to the nursery and she’s going to be picking him up every other Monday because she kicked off. I went to the front reception and introduced her as my MIL and she went “not yet I’m not!” As if I’d offended her. So me and my partner are getting married in 3 weeks, I really don’t think it’s necessary for her to say that in front of me and those that don’t know her. Plus what else would you like me to call you then?

She’s always accusing me of taking my son away from her and not wanting her in his life, which is completely untrue. She calls him a “gannet (which means greedy) piggy a fat nacker” which I’m sure is a joke but my partner was called all those nick names growing up and it has scarred him, he has such body issue now as an adult. So I don’t want that around my child.

What annoys me is that in the moment even though I’m boiling about comments she’s said, something in me stops me from biting back. And I need to learn to overcome that because I can’t keep feeling like this.

Anyone else got a mother in law they just cannot stand or can never please, I need some tips because I’m so so struggling to cope. 😢