Mother in laws
I’m really sorry for this long post but I just cannot cope any longer. I’m so done trying to be nice to this woman, I just physically cannot have a relationship with her, she infuriates me so much with her snide comments.
Today I took her to my little boys nursery because she’s been banging on how she doesn’t get time with him. She has such a problem with him going to nursery she can’t get her head round why he needs to go. She turned round to me a few weeks ago and said “you prefer to pay a stranger to look after my grandson over me who’s his family” for context he goes to nursery because that was mine and my partners choice whilst we’re at work, he only goes 3 days a week but he absolutely loves it and all the staff comment on how lovely he is, plus we feel it’s important for him to learn social skills and he’s got some lovely little friends, he’s going to be 2 next month.
My “MIL” works full time still so when exactly would she like me to make time for her to see him when whenever we try to see her she always makes excuses up that she’s busy. And also it is not my job to make sure she has a relationship with him it’s hers.
Anyway we got to the nursery and she’s going to be picking him up every other Monday because she kicked off. I went to the front reception and introduced her as my MIL and she went “not yet I’m not!” As if I’d offended her. So me and my partner are getting married in 3 weeks, I really don’t think it’s necessary for her to say that in front of me and those that don’t know her. Plus what else would you like me to call you then?
She’s always accusing me of taking my son away from her and not wanting her in his life, which is completely untrue. She calls him a “gannet, piggy, fatty” which I’m sure is a joke but my partner was called all those names groaning up and it has scarred him. So I don’t want that around my child.
What annoys me is that in the moment even though I’m boiling about comments she’s said, something in me stops me from biting back. And I need to learn to overcome that because I can’t keep feeling like this.
Anyone else got a mother in law they just cannot stand or can never please, I need some tips because I’m so so struggling to cope. 😢
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Tell her to go fuck herself. If someone called my babies fatty they wouldn’t be getting access. Imagine if she gives him issues with his relationship with food and self-confidence. She sounds like an absolute ball who has no place being around children.
In all seriousness I would talk to hubby about having strict boundaries with her and if she oversteps, then she loses contact because that’s not an okay thing to do.
It’s tough though so sending love
Ps I had to Google Ganet because I thought that was a bird and I didn’t understand the comment!
I’ve given up with my family in law or rather my mother and sister in law. I’ve never been treated to badly in all my life than immediately postpartum by the two of them and the comments have started again after a period of getting along “okayish”. Pregnant with our second now and just over it. In my case my mother in law is lovely with our son though so she picks him up sometimes and babysits and my husband spends some time there with our son. But I try to keep contact to a bare minimum and don’t feel bad about it (anymore!). Sometimes people are not worth the trouble, as long as I feel my son is happy & safe there it’s okay if they are in contact but I don’t feel welcome and doubt that it will change.
I wouldn’t be okay with someone call commenting on my kids eating habits or even worse calling them fat, that for me would be a crossed line because like you said, it will very negatively impact your child view of themselves. I had an ex who’s dad said similar stuff and 30 years later he still had body image issues.
🙄
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