My husband and CPS

My husband is a pill addict, mostly Adderall, and CPS was called. His mom retaliated and said I was manic bipolar, so CPS investigated that too which was awesome. I wasn’t worried. All my providers and children’s providers vouched for my sanity. Without making this a novel, my husband has had a pill addiction for a while. I’m prescribed Adderall and klonopin for panic attacks that I take as prescribed. I barely even take the klonopin. Just when I have a panic attack. I knew things were getting out of hand when my husband was asking me for Adderall, which I keep locked in a combination safe or else he’ll steal it. I knew that meant his plugs that have legitimate scripts were out and he would be looking elsewhere. I am terrified of him buying fake pressed pills with fentanyl in them. Him dropping them on the floor. Him taking them and dying, so I made a poor decision and I gave him some of mine which I was honest with CPS about and why. I then began organizing an intervention for him with his cousins. His mom, who basically has an emotionally incestuous relationship with her son, I contacted and said he needed to stay with her until he got help because our kids don’t need to be around that. We got into an argument. She had my kids because they had slept over. I said I was coming to pick up my kids. As I was driving over my dad called and said she called him and said she’d call the police if I showed up at her house, so I called the non emergency line of the police and asked an officer to escort me to pick up my children. Basically I explained my situation to them, my mother in law said I was manic and crazy and also has been lying to everyone and saying my father who has Parkinson’s is senile and making up that she called him and said that. 51As were filed and CPS got involved. They were about to unsupport my 51A, but unfortunately for me, I left my klonopin script out of the safe one night, and my husband must’ve stolen one and the idiot failed a drug test. CPS asked me if I gave it to him. I genuinely didn’t, but I told them I had forgotten to lock them in the safe which they said was on me so my 51A came back as substantiated and his supported. They are recommending detox for him. He’s not going to do it. I have gotten some legal advice over the past few weeks. He is not allowed to be alone with our kids. I am their sole caretaker right now. If I choose to stay in the house with him, if anything happens to those kids, they could possibly be removed from both of us because I decided to stay. I have a legal separation petition already filled out by a lawyer ready to file that would petition the court to remove him
From the home and make my children and I the sole occupants as well as child support and supervised visitation for him. I’m scared to file it. I need to buy some time to fix my credit to buy out his half of the house. This is my children’s home. I have $150k invested in this house and we are both owners. Mortgage is under his name though, but I am on the deed. I feel bad for him, but he is crazy and refusing to even acknowledge he has a problem. He tried to delete his and his mom’s text messages from my phone not realizing they could be recovered. He has messaged my family telling them I’m crazy. He has screen shotted messages I’ve sent him with no context and sent them to his mom. I honestly don’t know what’s keeping me from filing these papers. I know it’s not worth losing custody of my kids over someone like that, but he tells me he loves me, he’s nice to me, but he makes shit up about me behind my back, and idk wtf is going on. I’m just scared to pull the trigger that I’m going to make things 100 times worse. I was hoping if he went to rehab and got clean he’d be better as a husband which was part of me going for legal separation and not divorce, but I feel like if I file for legal separation, he’s going to go straight for divorce out of spite forcing the sale of the house before I’m ready to buy it. Idk I guess I want advice but also venting. I married the wrong guy. Had kids with the wrong guy. I don’t even know who I married. I didn’t know he was an addict when I married him. If you made it this far, thank you.

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I know it’s a lot but this is a huge insane mess and I would give that house up 1000 times to keep him and his mother away from my kids. And he doesn’t love you. Someone who loves you doesn’t put your kids at risk with their addiction. I promise you I would disappear if I couldn’t control my problem before I ever let my kids live through that. You’re scared to file it and he’s not scared to give his mother ammunition to keep lying on you. Then he won’t even detox, not that it would work anyway because he’s not the one choosing it. You know the truth, which is that you could lose custody of your kids. Don’t sit scared, do something, because they would in a heartbeat.

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If I told you I can tell how much you love yourself ( and your kids) by the partner you chose / choose to stay with. Would you take that as compliment or as an insult ? Whatever the answer that will give you some insight on the relationship.

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No material object is worth losing your children. Not even a dream home

You know what you need to do. Good luck either way 🩷

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