Partner Connection

Hey all. FTM Jumping on here for some advice on how to connect with my pregnancy more if that makes sense. I’m currently 31 weeks pregnant and I haven’t felt this overwhelming sense of motherhood. I feel completely disconnected from my own child and I feel extremely guilty for it. This pregnancy hasn’t been easy. There has been a lot of moving for financial reasons and, I won’t lie, bickering between me and my husband. He hasn’t really shown much interest in the pregnancy either but rather has focused all his energy into his 3 year old son from his previous marriage and I’m wondering if maybe that’s why it has been harder for me to connect with my baby boy. Now, please don’t think that I do not love his little boy or think the world of him but when we are already struggling financially and any extra money we get is being spent on toys or to take him to do something instead of spending it on something to prepare for the child we are getting ready to bring into this world it’s a little overwhelming. I haven’t been able to work since finding out I was pregnant due to prior medical conditions. My due date is July 23rd and we haven’t purchased a single thing for this baby. He doesn’t even have a car seat to come home in. Am I overreacting? Any advice or words of wisdom???

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You need to sit down with your husband and bring this up. This is a huge deal and your baby is coming so soon. Y'all need to go get things like ASAP.

The not feeling connected part can be so normal, and it may be hard to connect at first when little man comes. But just be patient, that bond will come. And if it doesn't, you can always talk to someone, because that's important too ❤️

No you’re not overacting, are you feelings are valid. I went through the similar feelings during my pregnancy and unfortunately I never felt that sense of motherhood during my pregnancy just felt like something I was doing lol. The one thing that did help tho was always trying to catch my baby moving on camera, and see what I could do differently to get him to move on my belly. Once my son was born and I got that overwhelming sense of relief from pushing him out everything kicked in because just like you I still loved him even tho we didn’t feel connected. Just take many pictures of you and your belly and your baby moving cause one day you’ll look back and wish you could go back in time were it was just you and your baby together all the time

Not overreacting. This is super concerning. Is he the only working one? Do you know what car seat you want?

Y'all need to get together and do things for this child. The hospital will not discharge you without a car seat for the baby. Do you have a baby registry or anyone to throw you a baby shower?! Looking at baby things can really bring out the feelings. Make up a room in the house as a nursery. Putting together a playpen or a bassinet. Doing things like this can help. My husband and I only had two months to prepare for this baby and we had a registry but no baby shower u fortunately because most of my family and friends are online and his family was local but far away too. So we made an online registry to where they could buy things and have it sent to us. His grandma bought us a lot of clothes, bottle set, and alot of diapers to get us started and a family friend bought us a playpen/changing table/bassinet combo for us. Getting stiff together can really get that motherhood feeling kicked in. Feeling the baby move inside you was really exciting and grabbing my husband's have so he could feel the kicks. 🥰

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Starting to come to the conclusion my daughter will be a only child, just like me 😭💔

Me and my partner have been together for almost 14 years. We waited so long to have kids, and then we went through infertility struggles for a while before finally having our daughter. I always dreamed of having a big family, at least 3 kids, and I truly thought we would build that life together.

But now, things feel so different. We barely get along anymore, and he has become such a miserable person. It feels like he’s constantly unhappy and always bringing up negative things , many of them situations that he created himself, but now he wants to play the victim in.

Before I had my daughter, I used to stay quiet and be more compliant just to keep the peace. But now that I’m older, and especially now that I’m a mother, I’m exhausted from pretending his behavior doesn’t affect me. It does affect me deeply, and I can’t keep carrying everything like this anymore.

What makes me even sadder is that I still want more children, but now I’m scared. Even if I were to go through IVF with a donor, part of me feels like he would make our lives miserable anyway. It hurts so much because the dream I had for my future and my family feels like it’s slipping away, and I feel overwhelmed and heartbroken.

IM FREEEEE!!! (Kinda)

My kidZZZZZZZZZZZZ (emphasis in plurality) start their summer program in a couple weeks! 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Yall! My daughter hasn’t even ever been to preschool! And when she was an infant she wouldn’t take a bottle 😭😭😭

YALLLLLLLL

I’m bout to have afternoon independence there’s too many options of things to do!!!!!

What do i do about this situation because i’m genuinely at a loss?

so to make a super long story short, my husband and i are separated and basically roommates because it’s complicated financially and blah blah blah. i’ve been on birth control because i DO NOT want another baby we had 2u2(13m apart) and it was hell. the second baby was fully his fault(he admitted to getting me pregnant when i was drunk because he wanted a son but that’s another story) and i was very unhappy and still am because i just did not want this situation. my postpartum was horrible with my first and worse with my second. anyways i switched birth controls on wednesday and wasn’t thinking much of it. i had an unexpected 👅night👅 (not with him) early saturday morning (12/1am) and he pulled out but he definitely finished super quick (like 2min tops quick) and i worry he didn’t pull out soon enough. funny (not funny) enough my husband made a comment saturday around noon about me smelling like i was ovulating. i took a test and damn sure it was as positive as you can get. i’m kinda stressing now and i’m not sure what to do. my situation is complicated and while I’m not cheating it would definitely cause a lot of unnecessary drama if i was pregnant, especially with who the other guy is. it would complicate things with both our lives/families honestly. i’m worried because i genuinely didn’t think the birth control switch would mess with my hormones that quickly. i had mentioned a condom but the guy didn’t wanna get the special kind i need (i’m highly allergic to latex) and promised he just wouldn’t finish in me. it was super last minute and everything and we were both heavily intoxicated but i feel stupid. also we do kinda have a huge age gap (he’s 48 and i’m 23) so there’s that. anywaysssss i need advice please that’s nonjudgmental. i have a very hard relationship with my parents and i don’t have any friends really either. i’ve been isolated for a while.

Dad not agreeing to have son when I want to go for a weekend break.

Right, so this might be a long one. My son is 3 and me and his dad broke up nearly a year ago. It’s been up and down but I’ve done my best for it to stay civil for my son.
Anyway, I asked him about having his son for a long weekend as it’s my 30th this year. He agreed. He then said he was going on holiday for a full week and wanted to swap weekends over. I said that was fine (Makes sense why he agreed about my time away so easily)

This was a couple months ago…
Last night he decided to tell me that he will look after OUR son but everyday he loses from work, he will deduct from child maintenance?
So if he gets 220 a day and loses that, that’s going to be 4 weeks no payments.

Surly this is all about control right?

I literally was looking for the weekend that’s his weekend with my son anyway, so it’s only 1-2 days he would need off and believe me all the stuff I’ve helped him with, including sorting his flat, car and just making sure he’s all set up and he just continuously messes me about and tries to control everything.

Am I right or wrong? What can I do?
If I went to family court, would they sort out an agreement regarding holidays per year/the other parent agreeing to be fair. Like for example, one week per parent can go away and we have to accept it.
As well as the usual every other weekend stuff

Thank you, hope that makes sense! Any advice welcome x

Nursery or Childminder?

What are people's preference when going back to work?

My little boy will be a year old when I return to work.

I'd much rather a child minder whilst he is still so small but my partner would rather him be placed in a nursery and we just can't come to an agreement on this.

What are everyone's experiences on both and their pros and cons.

Thank you x

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