Bare minimum

Relationship therapy or mediation might help. My husband works 13, sometimes fifteen hour days, spends every moment our son is awake and he's home on focused, intentional time with him, and after he goes to bed he does the dishes and cleans the litter boxes and sometimes even cleans and builds forts in the play room for our son to discover and be delighted by in the morning. His philosophy is that the whole point of working to him is to afford a good family life. I don't know if that mindset can be taught but maybe that reframe could be helpful? I think it also helps that we are older parents, men mature slowly.

Obviously every family is different, my partner works the same hours yours does (healthcare) and when hes done for the day in work he doesnt usually do much unless he's done a night shift and is home in the day. But on his days off from his paying job, its team work, because that is also my day off from being both mum and dad too, we take turns letting the other lay in, I always cook (just how we prefer it, and if I don't have it in me, he'll grab a take out) he does the bath (36 weeks pregnant, its a struggle) other wise everything is shared, we'll two man the cleaning, he'll often play with our daughter. The way we see it is, his off day, we tag team, we can both relax and enjoy the time together as a couple and as parents, if he wasnt to help out and lighten my load and I had to do both parenting roles 365 days a year, we'd be sacrificing our relationship for really no valid reason. Now by all means, they work hard, those jobs at 18 hours are tough, so they need to decompress and just let go ...

Won't let me reply to my own comment to finish haha... but if he needs those things, he should communicate and you too need those things, we do both mum and dad role while they're doing their job too. Id definitely sit down and remind him, when hes off work, raising children is a team effort, and you shouldnt have to be more than just mum, it'll also help keep your relationship strong if you share the parenting role, house care role when hes home, because its more time for you both to be partners as well as parents