it’s 3 am have been up since 1am my fudging 15 month baby must be going through ANOTHER sleep regression after only just getting through one been lucky for bout a week he only woke 1/2 time in night and back down after some boob within 30mins! tonight not the case i’m friggin exhausted as i do most parenting during the day as sometimes my husband is to busy looking at his damn phone that’s another rant another time! i don’t even know the point of this just want somewhere to type and not feel bad for feeling this way but when i get nights like this i wish i wasn’t a mum or i could run away or just get a decent night sleep 😭😭😩then i feel awful as i do love him so much my whole world, just wish it was easier and wish people would help rather than having to ask as then i feel like im failing like just ugh im sorry 😩😭🫶🏼
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The fact that you realize you realize you're having these feelings and that they aren't "real" is a big achievement.
I'm not trying to diminish your situation or feelings, as a mom I feel like most mothers experience this at least once. Humans have basic needs and atm, yours aren't being met.
If your partner wont step up, try reaching out to others whether family or friends. Baby doesn't have to be away from you but im sure someone could spend a night at your place to help. And if not, you can vet and hire someone.
Yes you'd still be woken up but its a 1000% difference of knowing baby is ok and basically being a food sack, passing back out and getting rest versus doing it all. And if you're ok with it, there's also the ability to pump beforehand so you get a full night's rest.

I feel you Hun. I'm so tired I was up 1 till 3 as well then again at 4 and guess what it's now 5:15 and still have a baby attached to me. My Lo is 5 weeks