Jealous passive aggressive grandparents?

Does anyone else deal with this?
I’m returning to work soon and my mom is going to take care of our baby while I’m at work full time.
When my in-laws found out, there was an awkward moment and I can tell they were concerned about it. They later asked my husband why we’re not considering working from home to care for baby instead (we can’t in our fields and also how can we work and take care of a baby at the same time) and if we considered daycare (we would be saving so much childcare costs with my mom). My MIL also made weird comments like “oh so she will get used to being at your mom’s house..” and “will she have the TV on at your moms house”
It seems like very passive aggressive comments to me and my parents have no idea (they’re just being helpful)
My in-laws are a lot older and granted can’t do a lot of babysitting besides waving to our baby and holding her for a few minutes at a time. They also never drive to see us we have to go to them.
I want them to feel included but I admit we visit my parents more because they live a little closer and it is an actual break for me as my parents can help me with baby. I trust my mom alone with my baby, not so much with my in-laws and my husband also agrees. My husband suggested we spend weekends with his parents so they don’t feel left out but it’s annoying to have to worry about that too when we’re still trying to balance new parent life.
Has anyone else been through something similar and how did you navigate it?

in our community

My son‘s broken two TVs

My husband bought a 70 inch TV after my son has broken two TVs😩 we have been so strict about don’t touch the damn TV but now I’m low-key freaking out because that TV is expensive. How do I make sure he doesn’t mess with it?

Nursery or Childminder?

What are people's preference when going back to work?

My little boy will be a year old when I return to work.

I'd much rather a child minder whilst he is still so small but my partner would rather him be placed in a nursery and we just can't come to an agreement on this.

What are everyone's experiences on both and their pros and cons.

Thank you x

Dad not agreeing to have son when I want to go for a weekend break.

Right, so this might be a long one. My son is 3 and me and his dad broke up nearly a year ago. It’s been up and down but I’ve done my best for it to stay civil for my son.
Anyway, I asked him about having his son for a long weekend as it’s my 30th this year. He agreed. He then said he was going on holiday for a full week and wanted to swap weekends over. I said that was fine (Makes sense why he agreed about my time away so easily)

This was a couple months ago…
Last night he decided to tell me that he will look after OUR son but everyday he loses from work, he will deduct from child maintenance?
So if he gets 220 a day and loses that, that’s going to be 4 weeks no payments.

Surly this is all about control right?

I literally was looking for the weekend that’s his weekend with my son anyway, so it’s only 1-2 days he would need off and believe me all the stuff I’ve helped him with, including sorting his flat, car and just making sure he’s all set up and he just continuously messes me about and tries to control everything.

Am I right or wrong? What can I do?
If I went to family court, would they sort out an agreement regarding holidays per year/the other parent agreeing to be fair. Like for example, one week per parent can go away and we have to accept it.
As well as the usual every other weekend stuff

Thank you, hope that makes sense! Any advice welcome x

Relationship Struggle

This is a rant so bear with me; I feel like I take care of LO totally alone. Husband has started doing more around the house but purely out of necessity as I have baby or work (while caring for baby) 24/7. And also, whenever he complains about how much it is I just am like hello…who used to do all of this? Me! And more honestly. We barely see each other and when we do I am frustrated with him truthfully, which isn’t fair to him but he just is making me so upset. If he does any caretaking for baby it is along side me, not on his own, and is often disregarding whatever I am already doing.

A huge source of contention is sleep. I have done all over nights always - even hospitalized with pp preeclampsia, I denied pain meds to be able to wake for baby. Took them the next day when my sister came. I had begged him during the first month to let me take a short nap daily and take baby - we were both on family leave. Never happened, during second month I begged him to wake up with us in the morning and take baby after feeding so I could nap. Maybe happened twice after huge sleep deprivation driven blow ups on my end. He also TAKES NAPS and without even saying anything to me and it honestly pisses me right off which is maybe crazy but it does. I get so mad when people ask him “how are you sleeping? Good?” And he’s like “oh we are trying” meanwhile he is getting completely uninterrupted sleep. And every time it happens I get super mad and talk to him and he doesn’t understand and says he is just including my perspective and being nice I’m like nice would be recognizing that I have completely removed the burden of waking at night from you actually not insinuating that night feeds have you tired for some reason. Baby is sleeping much longer now as we approach 3 months so I am not so tired anymore but it is not due to ANY sleep support from him.

Maybe I’m crazy. I don’t even know anymore. RIP my mental stability atp.

Is this very immature or was he fed up with me not answering the phone?

My dad calls but I find it draining speaking to him and sometimes I’m busy. I answer more when he just texts me and I didn’t tell him that but I would think he would notice . Yesterday was my birthday and he called at 8:46 pm. I didn’t answer. He left a voicemail in a rushed way saying happy birthday wish you good health. Then he sent me a nasty text saying he’s fed up with calling and for me to just say I want to be left alone & it’s no point calling when someone doesn’t want to talk to you. Then he said if he dies before me that he’s going to make sure to tell my sister to not let me into his funeral🥴. I ended up writing back oh no poor you it’s my birthday and people answer when they can you think I’m sitting down doing nothing and I told him fuck him for talking to me like that on my bday and I don’t care what he tells my sister. This was in Spanish by the way.

Would you be mad?

Not sure if I’m overreacting but I can’t help but be mad. Here’s the backstory my partner has a semi no-contact relationship with his mum and by that I mean he doesn’t respond or even talk to her and the majority of their interactions go through me (which I never asked for or agreed too). We have a 5 month old son who she’s only ever met 3 times and barely asks about him but expects us to keep her updated. Like most new parents we’re living month to month and finances are quite tight at the moment with me being out of work and on MAT leave. Well my MIL has asked me today if I can ask my partner, her son if he can send her money/contribute towards a vet bill for one of her cats. The reason I’m mad is because she only ever reaches out when it’s to ask for money and today she asked to call to FaceTime with my son but didnt hesitate once I’d accepted to put me in the awkward position of asking for money not to actually interact with her grandson. She came across quite passive aggressive about it stating that he should help her because “it’s technically his cat” - this was a cat she adopted when he was A CHILD. This vet bill is supposedly over £700 so I don’t know where she thinks we’re going to pull money from? I appreciate we’re all struggling but I really don’t think this is our problem…. Not only this but she messaged him about this and he ghosted her (which she also complained to me about) but I feel like if he didnt respond to your message at the time clearly that’s your answer… so why am I now being put in the awkward position to ask him again? When it has nothing to do with me.. and my priority is my son?. Idk would you be mad? The other thing is I know that the more she keeps begging and pestering him the more he’s willing to give her what she wants just to shut her up because he just wants an easy life and never stands up to her which also makes me mad because if we had the means to help her I’d be happy to but I know we don’t and this means it’ll be affecting how we care for our son which just has me riled up.