Is this controlling?

My husband got upset over a TikTok I sent about how mums still mentally carry their kids even when they’re away from them. Instead of telling me directly, he acted distant all morning, and I later found out he’d been venting to ChatGPT about how annoying he found the video. He’s also previously said he doesn’t think married women should be out late because he’s “old fashioned,” although later he’ll say he was joking and tell me to enjoy myself. Would you see this as controlling/invalidating behaviour, or am I overreacting? How would this dynamic make you feel?

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Why would a video like that annoy him unless he knows he’s not pulling his weight and leaving the full mental load on his wife? It’s the truth that he clearly doesn’t experience but why vent to AI like a sad act?

It’s true. My daughter is away for the first time in 4 years and I feel like a limb is missing. I catch myself thinking of her constantly, even called her name instead of the baby’s. Us mums never turn off mentally. He’s being weird.

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He sounds like a man-baby. Insecure. If he thinks its unfair he can STEP UP

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Sounds like a prick

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He has opinion you have yours. He already says he’s “old fashioned”. You can’t change his view and he can’t change yours. Do what you want with this info.

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He sounds like a guy that is bad at communicating his feelings. Which can be worked on. He definitely should have communicated how he felt about the video and you both could talk it out. The being out late is more of a problem you both should talk out and where you both stand. I don’t consider it controlling bc some men don’t mind and some do. It’s just a preference in a relationship, we all have our own.

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Do you/could you leave the house without telling your partner your away?

Seen a video and it got me thinking 🤷 does it work both ways?

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22

HAVE YOU EVER BEEN IN a similar SITUATION?

If yes, what did you do to help your child and yourself?

This is what happened:⏬

We were playing outside on the balcony, but it wasn’t very safe for him because of the dirt and other things, so we came back inside. I washed his hands. He was crying a little at that point.

I then tried to calm him down and breastfed him. He settled briefly but then started crying again. This time the crying intensified because he was very upset. At one point, his cry became silent and his body became stiff, and his mouth was open.

I immediately responded, held him tightly, and called his name out loud. After a short moment, his body relaxed and returned to normal.

He seemed a bit shocked afterward, as if confused about what had just happened. I comforted him and said, “Mama is here, you are okay.” Then I became very emotional and cried🥹

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6

I am absolutely and completely tired of this.
WWYD?

I have 3 children, all under 7 years old, my youngest child is almost 2 years old I have tried everything to prevent this area where we eat to be sanitary right? I have changed the dining area twice, I removed his high chair because I wasn’t getting help from my spouse cleaning it!! not the tray, he would carelessly be leaving the mess for me to clean everything up, he doesn’t wipe down the tables after meals so it remains dirty! I have placed a carpet that is easy to clean under the tables we have had in this dining area and so i can vacuum it however even with all these changes I’ve been trying to make everything easier on myself . my husband constantly continues to leave me to clean up the mess after the kids eat but he constantly asks me for sex! he will leave the mess, have sex with me and go to work like 30 minutes early the last straw was yesterday. I really don’t know what to do anymore, I cook because it’s healthier and easier to feed 3 kids with home cooked meals but my husband is not listening at all to what I am saying. I am tired of it. I need advice. I’m tired of being treated like a maid this is just 1 out of 10 other things I do in the home by myself. I told him off so bad last night and he didn’t come home after work.

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19

Advise please

This is a sensitive topic hence incognito. My daughter has told me my husband (her step dad) was looking at her when she was showering. I’ve spoken to him about it and he said he walked in accidentally and that was it, but my daughter is claiming there’s more to it. She says he lingered in the bathroom and he was just there staring when she turned around, which isn’t how he described the whole thing, he made it seem like he just accidentally walked in and left. I don’t know who to believe or where to go from here. My daughter is 14, she got a history of mental problems. My husband and her don’t have much of a relationship, they’ve never seen eye to eye but he’s never done anything which would suggest he sees her as anything other than his step child. This all came out last week and my daughter is currently staying at my mother’s house while I work this out with my husband, but I’m still at a loss on what to do here am feel my daughter is expecting something extreme to happen and I’m just not sure this is worth my marriage as it could all just be a misunderstanding.

Please be kind in the comments. I’m looking for advice from parents who dealt with something similar, not judgements or unhelpful remarks.

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15

Making baby food and freezing in ice cube trays…

How are people defrosting each puree cube when baby is ready to eat it? NHS is saying not to use the defrost setting on the microwave or leave it out at room temp?

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8

Is this controlling?

My husband got upset over a TikTok I sent about how mums still mentally carry their kids even when they’re away from them. Instead of telling me directly, he acted distant all morning, and I later found out he’d been venting to ChatGPT about how annoying he found the video. He’s also previously said he doesn’t think married women should be out late because he’s “old fashioned,” although later he’ll say he was joking and tell me to enjoy myself. Would you see this as controlling/invalidating behaviour, or am I overreacting? How would this dynamic make you feel?

Avatar

7

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