Advise please

Gosh. 😪
How did he accidentally end up walking into the bathroom? Did he think you were in there ?

My step dad used to do things like this and in hindsight was very pervy. I don't know how this happens accidentally.

Believe your daughter, and stand up for her. What reason would she have to make that up?

Believe your daughter

I’d rather believe my daughter than end up with something even worse happening to her.

She’s in the shower with the water running, you can’t not hear that, so why did he walk in? Did he think you was in there? Is it common place for him to walk in on you showering? I’d understand if she was sat on the toilet, because that’s silent & he could well have walked up to the door without knowing she was in there, but the shower, with the water running? Really really odd. Trust your daughter, she’s your child. Married or not, he’s just some bloke. She’s your responsibility to protect.

But if the door is closed and you can hear the shower going ? 🤔

I never told my mom. To this day she doesn't know. I think it would kill her if she knew. She had so much stress going on and when I realised how uncomfortable I was around him I just tried to protect me and my younger sister from him by keeping our distance. She did divorce him anyway for other reason.

If your daughter has confided in you, I would believe it

Why dont you sit with your daughter to have an honest chat? Tell her that she is your priority and that you want to make the right choice and that she needs to be serious and honest: if she feels unconfortable or unsafe next to him you will leave him, but she needs to be honest with you about what happened and about how she feels?
I think its important to believe her. Not only because that is very wrong but also cause you dont want to end up with a man that is looking at little girls and that could end up doing something to your daughter.

I’m curious how he walked into the bathroom by accident. Does the shower not produce steam or make sound?
If I opened the bathroom door and heard the shower running, I would just close the door immediately and walk away. I also feel like if you know the bathrooms don’t have locks, wouldn’t it make sense to knock first? Or say something? Idk I’m just struggling with how someone “accidentally” enters a bathroom and doesn’t knock, call out, hear the shower running, or see any steam before entering

Get a divorce and protect your daughter. Women and kids and no benefit from inventing things like that. High probably your husband is a creep. I'm very sorry it's happening to you. It must be awful 😞

Big red flags that there aren’t locks on the bathroom doors and that he insisted you don’t need them.

I would believe the daughter.

- you believing her could be the first step to her feeling comfortable enough to share if he had done anything else that makes her uncomfortable. If this happens, you should get out of your marriage as he is clearly predator.


- IF she admits over exaggerating the encounter, then your husband should still be understanding- she’s a child and obviously this is coming from somewhere. I would recommend family counseling, and therapy for your daughter to help figure out where this is coming from.

Frankly if you have an an iota of doubt that your husband could have done this- that in itself is alarming. No matter what, I would recommend getting counseling, even if just for you two right now, to discuss the incident and to get an objective third party assessment on the relationship between your husband and daughter. Until that is sorted out, I would not allow them to be alone together.

This man said you don’t need locks, and then just happens to walk in on her. Absolutely the fuck not!! This is a crucial point of your relationship with your daughter. You should immediately kick him out and get your daughter back home!! You need to believe her!! If you don’t she will never trust in telling you things.

Also I think it’s better for him to leave the house than for her to. She shouldn’t have to leave her safe space for confiding in you.

I think you need to beleive your daughter here, if you don’t, for the rest of her life she will feel like you’ve chosen him over her safety..

I just think you don’t need to act on something to have unsavoury predatory preferences.. just because he hasn’t ’Done’ anything other than watch her isn’t really relevent IMO. She’s 14 a very vulnerable age and needs her mum to trust her I agree with the comment above.. if you don’t know who to trust I think counselling is a great idea