I’m a bit gutted about husbands comment

So I have a 20 month old and I was out with my girlfriends last night. It was a typical mums night out and of course the question came flooding in if we were thinking of having anymore children? I replied yes we probably will try have more as I’ve always wanted more than just one child but I also mentioned we’re not trying and we haven’t got to serious talks yet about when exactly we’d have a go for baby number 2. But I’d be lying if I didn’t admit its there in the back of my mind.

Anyway my husband asked this morning what me and my friends were chatting about and I told him.
He just replied with,

“if you got pregnant right now our nursery bill would be massive.”

That’s all he said and it’s a valid point but it also made me a bit sad that everything always boils down to money. We both earn a decent amount and yet everything is so expensive, money isn’t very far from our thoughts.

But when we’re chatting about our future family it’s so hard to always think with our brain and just sometimes it would be nice to think with our hearts. Even if it’s just to have a chat about it we don’t have to act on it.

Anyway it just made me feel a bit meh that he just bought it back round to be all about money.

I’m just venting but are there any other couples who sorta feel a bit stuck. Wanting to grow their family but cost of living is just so high it’s hard not to take it into consideration. It makes me very sad.

in our community

Who was in the room while you delivered?

Me personally it was a must for me to have my husband and mom. But they allowed room for 1 more so I had my mother in law in there as well.

Just ranting so I don’t scream! Tired of my partner and his family 🙄

My son was born at 33 weeks and was underweight for the first couple of months. Around 3–4 months he finally started putting weight on properly and thriving, and that’s when my son’s father’s mum started making comments about him being “heavy” and not wanting him to “develop fat cells.” 🙃 We all know postpartum is an emotional time so I took that comment as I’m failing as a mother because now my baby is heavy I must be over feeding him! My comment at the time: “Well do you expect me to starve my baby?” She didn’t much like that response. But honestly what was I suppose to do with that? 🤣 The doctors have told me he’s healthy and then here she comes bringing her older generations unnecessary comments…

For added context, me and my son’s father are both big people and our son has always been a big baby since catching up.

Despite all of that, I still made all the effort for him to have a relationship with his dad’s family — taking him round, calling, inviting them to things, etc. I moved 10 minutes away from them just before my son was born and would walk round there often but the effort has NEVER been reciprocated.

My son is very close with my mum and this has become a new point of contention. My son’s father’s family as a whole are quite absent but do love to mention they “never see him,” while also not actually reaching out or making plans themselves. The effort really isn’t matching the complaint level.

After my son’s first birthday, where barely anyone on my son’s father’s side really helped, I decided I was done being the unpaid family coordinator. I’m done reaching out, organising, calling etc. Especially as every conversation when I’m around them somehow always comes back to my son’s weight. 🤐 I’m trying to choose peace but they are making it very hard! If my son’s father wants our son to see his family, he can absolutely take that job on himself, I’m done picking up that slack!

And it’s amazing that since I’ve stopped making an effort that I haven’t spoken to any of them at all (which has been surprisingly peaceful) but not a call or a text amongst the bunch since March. 🙄

And my partner… that requires a whole new post but let’s just say he’s just about present enough to not be called a deadbeat but he’s a deadbeat!

Am I in the wrong?

I feel like I'm going insane. Yesterday my partner had a very long busy shift (he's a police officer for context) I work in the same organisation so I completely understand what his role entails.

We were both sat on the sofa in the evening with our son who's 8 months old. He was playing while we watched TV. Our son is extremely active, climbing all over us, us I mean mainly me. I've had him all day (which I'm happy with don't get me wrong but he's a handful) and I was up all night with him beforehand as he's a terrible sleeper. I'm knackered basically. Yet he's sat on his phone ignoring him.

I eventually said can you get off your phone and pay attention to your son please, which he did. I obviously had a miserable face on and he asks what's wrong. I said I've had him all day could you just pay attention to him for 10 minutes. He obviously replies with "I've been at work all day I'm tired". Now, am I in the wrong for expecting him to still be a dad after work? We chose to have this baby and you can't play with him for 10 minutes in the evening!!? He makes me feel awful for even asking🙄

who’s bold enough? i need him to get roasted down to the ground?!

heyyy ladies is anyone bold enough to message my husband either on fb or his phone ( nothing will happen of course ) but her blocked me because he’s not a family man anymore he left me all alone with 3 kids and 9 weeks pregnant with one so i can’t roast him like i want to so can anybody do it for me if you don’t want him to see your profile i def can give you all his number! he want to be around men all day and smoke weed with men and he’s also been sleeping at men house for the past 3 days!!

Any tips on how to get baby to eat by themselves?

My little one is 8 and half months and I can't seem to get him to eat without me feeding him. If I give him some kind of food, he holds it and squeezes it then drops it but doesn't attempt to put it to his mouth.

Has anyone done a trial separation while living in the same house?? I love my husband but honestly something has got to give. I think time without the expectations of marriage level emotional and physical intimacy would give me clarity

Also if you think this is a good or bad idea please let me know. I’m just so confused, scared and heartbroken at how my life ended up here. I’ve been out of work for so long I’m scared to separate fully because I don’t know if I can make it on my own I can’t even find a job that would work with childcare . My kids are still little