Am I in the wrong?

I feel like I'm going insane. Yesterday my partner had a very long busy shift (he's a police officer for context) I work in the same organisation so I completely understand what his role entails.

We were both sat on the sofa in the evening with our son who's 8 months old. He was playing while we watched TV. Our son is extremely active, climbing all over us, us I mean mainly me. I've had him all day (which I'm happy with don't get me wrong but he's a handful) and I was up all night with him beforehand as he's a terrible sleeper. I'm knackered basically. Yet he's sat on his phone ignoring him.

I eventually said can you get off your phone and pay attention to your son please, which he did. I obviously had a miserable face on and he asks what's wrong. I said I've had him all day could you just pay attention to him for 10 minutes. He obviously replies with "I've been at work all day I'm tired". Now, am I in the wrong for expecting him to still be a dad after work? We chose to have this baby and you can't play with him for 10 minutes in the evening!!? He makes me feel awful for even asking🙄

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You're definitely not in the wrong. They forget or don't realise that we "work" too by taking care of the child. Having an extremely active child myself I know it's a lot of work and so when my partner comes from work I expect him to be with our LO. Now my partner works in the office so it's not as physically demanding job as your partner's but still. He usually comes home around 6pm when we start our night time routine for our LB so he feeds him, gives him a bath and puts him to bed at 7pm as that's the only time he's spending with him. If our LB wakes up over night (lately it's just once for a feed) he deals with it as he know I need more energy during the day.
Maybe talk to your partner and state your expectations from him and explain that taking care of a child is physically and mentally exhausting as well. If he won't see it just leave him with the child for a day or just half a day and he'll understand. Xx

You’re defo not in the wrong , I’ve found myself saying the same thing as you described.
Think it is just a complete lack of awareness of how exhausting having them all day is - not that that makes it any less annoying when they do sit there on their phone❤️

No you’re not in the wrong! Looking after a baby can be such hard work, mine is a little handful🤣 My husband knows that when he gets home he’ll be the one playing with her for an hour or so on the floor so I can sit on the sofa or get bits done haha, obviously I still interact and don’t switch off completely as she loves the interaction from us both but yeah I need that help for a good hour once he’s back to de stress from the day! I tell my husband he has a lunch break and toilet breaks which I don’t get🤣

Feel free to message me ☺️

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Advise please

This is a sensitive topic hence incognito. My daughter has told me my husband (her step dad) was looking at her when she was showering. I’ve spoken to him about it and he said he walked in accidentally and that was it, but my daughter is claiming there’s more to it. She says he lingered in the bathroom and he was just there staring when she turned around, which isn’t how he described the whole thing, he made it seem like he just accidentally walked in and left. I don’t know who to believe or where to go from here. My daughter is 14, she got a history of mental problems. My husband and her don’t have much of a relationship, they’ve never seen eye to eye but he’s never done anything which would suggest he sees her as anything other than his step child. This all came out last week and my daughter is currently staying at my mother’s house while I work this out with my husband, but I’m still at a loss on what to do here am feel my daughter is expecting something extreme to happen and I’m just not sure this is worth my marriage as it could all just be a misunderstanding.

Please be kind in the comments. I’m looking for advice from parents who dealt with something similar, not judgements or unhelpful remarks.

Omllll

Just a rant because I HATE cleaning up food after dinner it makes me feel sick but I don’t want him to feel like there’s something wrong with textures but omgggg it’s horrible 🤢😵‍💫

Is this weird?

You and your child spend the night at a friends house. Your friend has a child too. Her fiancé is on a trip and comes back today. We're spending another night and my friend has to work in the morning. Tomorrow it'll just me, my child, her finance, and their child until she gets home from work. 12 hour shift. Is that weird? She doesn't want me to go and says I can stay but I feel uncomfortable

Fight with husband

My husband yelled at me today. Literally let it all out and said that I’m dumb and need to get my shit together basically that I never do shit for the house and he does everything but that I resent him because he doesn’t have boob milk to give to our baby and I’m 5 years old because I freeze and shut down in confrontation and can’t make decisions on the spot.

Back story….
I told him a while back I was feeling a little resentment because I was the one doing all the feeds and wake ups at night for the past 2 years now with our baby this year and now toddler last year he tried helping for a few days then it went back to the same…
I’ve been a SAHM he just recently retired and is now home. He gets mad whenever I try and do anything and tells me to just take care of the kids. When he started staying home it was you take care of the baby and I will the toddler which always still left me with both since he did everything else because he doesn’t like how I do anything.
I feel so unheard and unseen and like everything I did tell him was just twisted. He always is right and everyone else is wrong and dumb I have to constantly hear him complaining when we go out about other drivers and people and he constantly tells my oldest she’s dumb which sometimes yes but she’s just a kid at the same time…
I know I need to work on freezing and shutting down and I am very indecisive I am not saying I’m perfect but am I at fault? I’m just really thinking about it all and idk what I’m doing anymore or what to think of any to ing I need an outside opinion….

Who was in the room while you delivered?

Me personally it was a must for me to have my husband and mom. But they allowed room for 1 more so I had my mother in law in there as well.

Just ranting so I don’t scream! Tired of my partner and his family 🙄

My son was born at 33 weeks and was underweight for the first couple of months. Around 3–4 months he finally started putting weight on properly and thriving, and that’s when my son’s father’s mum started making comments about him being “heavy” and not wanting him to “develop fat cells.” 🙃 We all know postpartum is an emotional time so I took that comment as I’m failing as a mother because now my baby is heavy I must be over feeding him! My comment at the time: “Well do you expect me to starve my baby?” She didn’t much like that response. But honestly what was I suppose to do with that? 🤣 The doctors have told me he’s healthy and then here she comes bringing her older generations unnecessary comments…

For added context, me and my son’s father are both big people and our son has always been a big baby since catching up.

Despite all of that, I still made all the effort for him to have a relationship with his dad’s family — taking him round, calling, inviting them to things, etc. I moved 10 minutes away from them just before my son was born and would walk round there often but the effort has NEVER been reciprocated.

My son is very close with my mum and this has become a new point of contention. My son’s father’s family as a whole are quite absent but do love to mention they “never see him,” while also not actually reaching out or making plans themselves. The effort really isn’t matching the complaint level.

After my son’s first birthday, where barely anyone on my son’s father’s side really helped, I decided I was done being the unpaid family coordinator. I’m done reaching out, organising, calling etc. Especially as every conversation when I’m around them somehow always comes back to my son’s weight. 🤐 I’m trying to choose peace but they are making it very hard! If my son’s father wants our son to see his family, he can absolutely take that job on himself, I’m done picking up that slack!

And it’s amazing that since I’ve stopped making an effort that I haven’t spoken to any of them at all (which has been surprisingly peaceful) but not a call or a text amongst the bunch since March. 🙄

And my partner… that requires a whole new post but let’s just say he’s just about present enough to not be called a deadbeat but he’s a deadbeat!