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Moms in their 30’s

Just ranting so I don’t scream! Tired of my partner and his family 🙄

My son was born at 33 weeks and was underweight for the first couple of months. Around 3–4 months he finally started putting weight on properly and thriving, and that’s when my son’s father’s mum started making comments about him being “heavy” and not wanting him to “develop fat cells.” 🙃 We all know postpartum is an emotional time so I took that comment as I’m failing as a mother because now my baby is heavy I must be over feeding him! My comment at the time: “Well do you expect me to starve my baby?” She didn’t much like that response. But honestly what was I suppose to do with that? 🤣 The doctors have told me he’s healthy and then here she comes bringing her older generations unnecessary comments…

For added context, me and my son’s father are both big people and our son has always been a big baby since catching up.

Despite all of that, I still made all the effort for him to have a relationship with his dad’s family — taking him round, calling, inviting them to things, etc. I moved 10 minutes away from them just before my son was born and would walk round there often but the effort has NEVER been reciprocated.

My son is very close with my mum and this has become a new point of contention. My son’s father’s family as a whole are quite absent but do love to mention they “never see him,” while also not actually reaching out or making plans themselves. The effort really isn’t matching the complaint level.

After my son’s first birthday, where barely anyone on my son’s father’s side really helped, I decided I was done being the unpaid family coordinator. I’m done reaching out, organising, calling etc. Especially as every conversation when I’m around them somehow always comes back to my son’s weight. 🤐 I’m trying to choose peace but they are making it very hard! If my son’s father wants our son to see his family, he can absolutely take that job on himself, I’m done picking up that slack!

And it’s amazing that since I’ve stopped making an effort that I haven’t spoken to any of them at all (which has been surprisingly peaceful) but not a call or a text amongst the bunch since March. 🙄

And my partner… that requires a whole new post but let’s just say he’s just about present enough to not be called a deadbeat but he’s a deadbeat!