SAHM being impossible

These things vary a ton from place to place. We didn't cut a few luxuries for me to be a house spouse, we moved hours away to an area with a lower cost of living where we could afford to live on one income. There are more stay at home parents out here than there were in the high cost of living area we were in originally. I low key hate it here, but for now, it's worth it for us. But I also know plenty of people who wouldn't find this arrangement worth it

I think if you have family/ friends who can watch the kid/kids it’s cheaper to work. If you don’t and have to pay for childcare (at least in the US) it’s like 1500+ per kid which is more than we pay in rent. It wouldn’t make sense for me to work bc my ENTIRE paycheck plus some of his would go to childcare, and why would we do that when I can stay home and it’s cheaper and I get to be w them

I definitely couldn't afford to be a sahm. It's just not feasible

It truly depends on where you live and the kind of work the person bringing in money does. It's not feasible for everyone, but it's definitely heavily dependent on the cost of living in the area you're in. For some it's very easy, so I can see how that misunderstanding happens.

This is why I work nights and I'm a SAHM during the day. We can't afford to live without a double income but also can't afford daycare

I think what we have to bear in mind on this app is that a lot of the users are going to be SAHMs. I'd say potentially a disproportionate amount that doesn't accurately reflect society? I got the app initially because I wanted to find more stay at home or part time working mums in my area who are available weekdays. I have lots of working mum friends and we do our best but I was looking for someone I could see on other days! So you might see a few more responses like you've described here than on other platforms? For me being a SAHM is a luxury but also a sacrifice, ideally I'd want to be working but to support my husband's career I'm taking a break. I don't know many people who can afford it, most parents I know would like to work less if they could.

Saying anyone can be a SAHM is definitely a stretch. I do believe a large percentage of people could make it work if they wanted to but obviously there are those (depending on location etc) that would have to at least work part time. I know numerous SAHMs personally.

For some it’s possible, for others not. I think generally the “middle earners” are probably the ones who find it financially impossible to be a SAHM. If you earn more than childcare costs, but your essential bills (mortgage and things like gas/electric etc) cost more than one person earns, then you just can’t justify losing an income.

But people on lower incomes also often don’t have a choice - if the cost of childcare is more than your take home pay - you’re literally paying to go to work and that often makes no sense.

If you can cover all essential outgoings on one income, that’s when you have a choice (but may mean cutting down on luxuries).

There’s also other factors that’ll have an impact - like geography. Two women earning the same amount a year, could have very different outgoings because housing costs varies so much.

But a lot of people don’t actually have a choice. They’re either forced to work, or forced to give up work!