Baby’s surname

He should have been around

The thing that makes him less of a dad isnt the name and it’s not even blood, it’s lack of effort and dedication to being in the child’s life. My LG has my surname and I have never had a single regret about it.

No girl you do what you want to do! I personally kept my surname when I got married and added his. So now I have 2 last names. You could do both your last name and his or just yours or just his. I see nothing wrong with this. I think it’s great that you said he can be involved as he likes. You’re not pushing anything but you’re putting it on him to put effort into his relationship with his child.

I would say keep his name off! Someone who acts like that you will have issues in the future

You make your life easier.

Is he going to be there as a fully present father? If not, share a name with your child as a single mother and have an easier life without the paperwork. You’ll be the one travelling on holidays with them, booking appointments, etc.

My son has my surname never regret it cause in the end his dad wanted nothing to do with him and started a new life with someone else and pretended he didn’t have a baby

Emotions ladies emotions think about the fear of being a father just like motherhood does to us just give him time to feel

It depends, he can always go to court, ask for a paternity test and then legally get himself put on the birth certificate. It's more hoops for him to jump through to leave him off, but he could go down that route if he wanted to.

I wouldn’t give my baby his surname if I was in your position

He doesn’t deserve easy access to you anymore especially during your most vulnerable time in life .Don’t let him come and go as he pleases this will only further the pain . Either he’s willing to step up now or stop yourself from the pain down the line and don’t give him any access at all. Begin to find and surround yourself with healthy support so you don’t feel vonurable enough to let him back in and keep hurting you while you are trying your best to be strong for your baby.

I made the mistake of giving my daughter her dads surname and he’s not been involved since she was 3 months old (she’s now 2) and I’ve been through a court case to get it changed. I wish I would have given her my name to start with especially if you’re not married! A connection is more than a name but your baby having your name will show their family unit and lived reality as you’ll always be there x