Trauma vent ahead

Honestly just need to vent..
I had my second girl almost 2 months ago via emergency c-section. Now it wasn’t life or death emergency but emergency in my situation. I chose to be induced at 39w2d, the epidural failed and I was only at 6cm. I was in immense pain, sobbing with every contraction. I honestly think she was stuck in my pelvis. I had a choice of either redoing the epidural, laboring to dilate more for 10-12 hours or have the surgery. Doctors were also worried about baby’s HR. I chose the surgery. It wasn’t ideal. All I can think of is staring at the ceiling tiles, waiting for my husband to be at my head, being extremely nauseous and feeling all the tugging and pulling. Now to today, I love watching medical dramas, but I just get and feel so triggered watching them now. It takes me back to the surgery and I can’t escape it. I hate it and idk what to do 😩😭
Ok vent over, thanks for reading if you did 🫶🏻

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Girl I really do understand. I had a planned c section with my second, but the spinal block failed and I had to be put to sleep. I was doing a gender reveal at birth, and I couldn't see the baby until I woke up. My husband couldn't be at the birth because of rules. And all through my pregnancy I was told that my baby girl may need NICU as she was measuring small. She didn't need it but when I came round the first thing I said is where is my baby, is she in NICU. It was so traumatising. Message me if u ever need to talk xx

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Oof 😣 I'm sorry. I was a scheduled induction that started 3/30, I had a Folley to keep dialaton going. I had GDM and they wouldn't use the numbers I had on my dexcom even though it was calibrated. Long story short I had to beg for sleep didn't get to walk around had 2 failed epidurals so 3 epidurals later, 54 hrs of Labor going on, a star c section due to decels of little mans heart rate. Him not being brought over immediately & him not crying immediately while I was in and out of consciousness. Oh and I hemorrhaged and only found out from my mom & doula because doc never addressed it. I understand traumatic c section for sure. I feel for anyone who knows how hard it is and how much it impacts you later on.

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I’m the same i can’t watch one born every minute or stuff like that it’s very triggering. Remember you are only 2 months post birth though, and it will feel lighter with time. Be kind to yourself ❤️

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