Cleaning

Any stay at home moms having a hard time with keeping the house clean? My husband and I had the biggest fight we’ve ever had yesterday. He thinks the house needs to be OCD clean. I told him that it’s okay for our house to look like someone lives there. That we don’t have to have our house so clean that we could have a walk through done at any point. It’s okay if the laundry isn’t done and there’s a couple dishes in the sink He makes it seem like we live in squaller. He flew out my sister for the summer to help me with everything but my 2 year old hates her. Anything my sister does causes a meltdown in my child. She walks down the stairs and my daughter starts freaking out. So when my sister tries to help we just get screamed at.

After he packed his bags ( because yes I do guess it was that serious) he made me a list of everything I NEED to do everyday. Some of them I’m like yeah I already do that everyday. But others I think he’s just asking way too much. Deep cleaning the entire house everyday with two under two? Like I’m sorry but I’m not deep cleaning everyday. Especially watching our two children 24/7.

Can I be doing more around the house, yes, but it gets really hard when he comes down the stairs and points out everything I HAVENT done yet.

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tell him to start cleaning if it’s that important to him? you both have full time jobs OUTSIDE OF cleaning the house.. grab your rags buddy. hes got other issues tho idk if that’s j me

Personally I have a newborn and my house is impossible to keep clean. I try my hardest to clean throughout the day but it’s impossible. Personally my husband knows that I try my best. He also knows that if it gets too bad and our baby is being a mommas girl that day then he needs to step up and clean. We have a system though that we implemented before our baby came because I was having complications during my pregnancy so he’d had gotten use to cleaning and cooking after work or his off day before she came. Marriage (especially with kids) is all about helping each other and also realizing things don’t have to look perfect to be perfect.

After I have a baby it can be difficult to clean for a bit OR in beginning of my pregnancies. I have a 36 month old son, a 23 month old daughter, and I'm over 40 weeks pregnant with our third baby and second son. My daughter loves to clean and she has the maturity to actually help. Daily we do laundry together, wipes counters, clean the windows, she can sweep with her mini broom and help me, and I vaccum. She even has a real working mini mop!

Hopefully as your kids get older they can start helping out around the house. I never forced or asked my daughter to help she just started doing it. My son in the other hand hates cleaning up. It's probably since he never sees his dad and my husband clean up, it falls onto us women. I dont necessarily think it's bad. We have a large 3bed 3bath home so it is a lot to keep clean.

Hubby likes our house clean too but he actually helps me clean to get to the state that he likes it, it’s not all on me and he doesn’t ever rely all on me. He stacks the dishes every night, there’s no dishes in the sink at night. He unloads in the morning before work. He does bins every other day. There is always some washing on here, or washing drying outside to be brought in, I don’t leave piles so as soon as they come in I fold and put away. It’s just constant doing and moving. For the house to run successfully and not behind it needs to be on a schedule but both parties have to do their jobs. It’s not a free hotel where he just pays board and I do room service. Absolutely not. Also, we host often. And my sisters drop by often. So I keep my house clean knowing I have drop in visitors anytime

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Are you your husbands type?

feeling a little insecure because everyday im reminded im not his type. He follows so many women and comments in their TikToks and i see they all the same race… smh am i wasting my youth here?

Need marriage advice please

Hello,
My husband and I are going through a rough patch and I’m hoping to get some advice.
I was recently diagnosed with endometriosis. It is a chronic inflammatory disease and it can cause me to be in quite a bit of pain. When I got my diagnosis I was really struggling mentally. I was scared and upset that this was something I would have to deal with for the rest of my life. In this time when I really needed emotional support he wasn’t there for me. I brought this up many times over the past 5 months and he always says he will do better but there’s been little improvement. Another moment came up today so I had to bring it up again.
I asked him to be honest with me about what he thinks and feels about the problems we are having and he said he’s doing too much. He said for him to emotionally support me he needs me to do all the laundry, cook all meals, do cleaning, grocery shopping, let him shower and go on a run everyday when he gets off of work (meaning I get no help with the baby), and take care of our two dogs all while I take care of our one year old. He said then he would feel taken care of.
To me this feels like he’s asking a lot of me even if I didn’t have a chronic disease.
What do you guys think?

What should I do

At the moment I am sick of house work, sick of cleaning up after every idiot in this house (I love them but I’m really over everyone’s behaviour and selfishness) and I’m struggling mentally with caring for a toddler, dealing with a moody teenager and a partner who is never home.

I’ve had a migraine for over a week, I have my period yet I’m still on my feet picking up after everyone while everyone just does their own fucking thing and doesn’t think twice about helping.

I’m just snapping at everyone cause I’m just so tired of everything. They still don’t give a fuck.

I don’t need help with the above stuff, I want to know, what the fuck can I do to refresh? What can I do for myself to mentally relax and calm down & regulate my nervous system so I can get back to slaving around for these assholes?

I have my first full day to myself in almost two years next week as I've booked a day off work and my youngest will be at nursery 🎉🎉

Its going to raining which is slightly annoying but it should still be so nice to just have my own company for the day.

I have a few ideas of what I'd like to do but I'm still deciding.

(Watch this be a day that the nursery call in the morning to say my toddler has a temperature or something so needs collecting 🤣)

Need advice

I’m not sure what to do anymore.
My son’s dad is just making my life a nightmare. My son and I live at my apartment and his dad lives with his mom and grandma.
Well my son’s dad isn’t working. He actually isn’t doing anything with his life at the moment.
He’s supposed to be the one helping me but that isn’t working out.
My son isn’t allowed to go to his dad’s house alone because I don’t trust him to watch our boy alone. Yes he has family but they don’t always have my son. My son is special needs, almost 4 yrs old, non verbal.

Well I get SSI and food benefits from the state. Basically my son’s dad thinks I need to provide them food at his house. I’m already struggling with gas. Something my ex cannot help with. He can’t help with nothing since he’s not working.
Then on top of all that my son’s dad is a man child, a real Peter Pan. So he throws tantrums and all that yelling. So emotional abuse too.
Now I tell this guy we are done. Shit I been moved out over a year now. He tells me we’re not done and he continues to do this cycle to me then the coercin is bad too. Sex, almost everything is abusive.

Now I understand I have to communicate with him but how in the hell can I convince him we are NOT together. He just doesn’t get it, I’ve even translated my sentences to a variety of different languages.

I’m not sure how I can prove to him that he’s not my problem anymore?
Also no, I don’t want to go with my son to his dads, I want to work on myself and be with someone else one day.

How can I escape him with the bare minimum communication?

Potty training query..

My little one will be 2 on June 21st. She seems ready to potty training, tells me when she needs to poo/tells me when she's done a poo, can hold her urine for up a long time etc. The problem I have is I'm trying to bare bottom method and this morning she held her urine all morning and then started telling me she needed a wee and was saying ouch but wouldn't let it go on the potty, only letting a few drops out. She wouldn't go until I put her nappy on and it was a huge wee then! Does this mean she isn't ready? Or is there anything I can do to encourage her to wee on the potty? I try not to put any pressure on but just lightly reminding her that if she needs a wee wee to go on the potty etc. Any advice would be great, even if it's telling me she isn't ready. We are on day 2 of no nappy. I'm a FTM so feel like I'm going in blind 🤣