Over reacting?
So we were at my partners mums yesterday with our 2.5 year old and I am 38 weeks pregnant with our second. My partner and I struggled to come to terms with the second pregnancy and have had very in depth discussions about how we both definitely do not want any more children, we want to be able to maintain our lifestyle and feel that two is more than enough for us. I had a traumatic birth with my first (hopefully I won’t this time) and my partner is adamant he wants to get the snip. For context he is 24 and I am 30, so there is a gap but we’ve never really seen this as an issue. Obviously I know that is young for that procedure; but this isn’t something I’ve pushed him into or made him want to do, he keeps telling me he wants to. He mentioned it at his mums yesterday and she blew up, and started saying “you go on the coil, MY son isn’t having that done and if he is, I won’t talk to him ever again and you should be talking him out of it” and then she said “you might not even be with HER in a few years, you might meet someone else and they might want kids” so I said, oh that’s nice, and his sister said “true though” and while I get the concept, I felt so hurt and uncomfortable, I’m literally about to have his second child, obviously already feeling vulnerable and then comments like that. We then went to the park with his sister and our children and I told my partner I felt hurt by the comments; his sister said aggressively “what you saying” so I said I just didn’t like that comment” so she stormed off saying come and say it to my mums face, to which I said I haven’t said anything negative, and I’m not going to act in such a way infront of my son, so we continued to the park. Anyway, I don’t know if it’s hormones but I thought I’d feel better after I woke up and I don’t, I feel emotionally numb and can’t get the comment out of my head. It’s made me feel like some kind of temporary fixture, when I’d never want that to be the case.
Also, I just want to add that there are people in the world who know they never ever want kids and that’s their choice, you wouldn’t follow them around telling them they’re wrong would you? Surly we should be building a life based on how we feel as a couple and not what could or couldn’t happen or what would be the point in anything?
Am I overreacting?
Am I wrong? Emotional neglect
So we are in our 3rd trimester, Ive had really bad groin pain since 20 weeks pregnant (now 30 weeks), drying up our sex life. He doesnt pressure and hes super supportive in terms of understanding however im starting to notice some behaviours that i feel are icky but he says is normal.
I dont have many people on my insta, so anytimr he follows someone they show up in my suggested.. its always some half naked chick or only fans wannabe, when i bring it up he saya no its from when i was single. But his following went up by like 50 people.. we talked it out and he deleted them, but then yesterday he said he was really horny so we fooled around, then when i open up insta the suggested friend is another half naked chick, so now i feel like he was turned on by her, not me...
We have history of him choosing porn over sex at the start of our relationship and worked through that, but sometimes it still hurts and i feel like hes hiding something.... i dont want to worry about that restarting because i rely on that sexual connection for bonding as a love language.
Am I just reading into things? Hes such a supportive guy compared to my last 2 relationships which were heavy DV, its jist this one little speed bump where he cant seem to understand
Diversity
I feel like this app isn't diverse enough, most can't relate or been through have the stuff they comment on and I've realized its mostly Caucasian that try to tell other races this or that and somehow Africans Americans or other races are always wrong for how we parent or what we believe in. Many of us have lived with different levels of life and wonder why we have strong opinions on certain topics we've lived. Ex: bullying, poverty, Sa, public schools, abuse, racism not saying that others havent been through it but African Americans have most of yall are wealthy sitting at home bored and trolling on here, when we're genuinely asking for advice or whatever. Yall are mean and say things like people are stupid. Everybody hasnt dealt with the rhings we have. Idk is it just me?
