What do i do?

Part of me wants to say just stop doing everything you do. That wouldn’t help anything though. I would just try to express to him that you’re trying your best, it isn’t always easy for you, and that you just need help sometimes and appreciate when he does help you. I think sometimes it’s hard for men to understand the amount of work that goes into maintaining a household or how patient you have to be with the little ones sometimes. The little ones don’t care if the dishes are done or the toys are everywhere. Just give yourself some grace and I hope he does too.

Sounds like you are both at your wits end. Its not fair of your husband to expect you to do everything. I firmly believe that our jobs as stay at home parents is to care for the kids. I do everything associated with the "kid" aspect but the "house" aspect is still split. Maybe not 50/50 but at least 30/70. My husband has set tasks (garbage, dishes some nights, feeding animals). Things I don't like doing and he doesn't mind. Is it a fair split? No. But it helps. All we are doing in this season of life is surviving the best we can. When the kids are older and less demanding then we can have the spotless house we dreamed of. Also have him watch your kid when hes a toddler and can un-tidy anything like he's trying to beat some world record. Its humbling. Either way, its worth talking to him about how you feel. You're in it together and you deserve respect too. Usually there is some middle ground somewhere. You're doing a great job.

His characterization is unfair. You do a lot! This is not your fault, it is the result of him holding unrealistic expectations. My husband blamed me for inflation... twice! A weekly housekeeper will be cheaper than either marriage counseling or divorce. Get some part time help. If possible, get him to think it was his idea.

Maybe try spreading things out like folding laundry and other things during the day. If he is off at work it makes sense that he doesn’t do everything u know? He can for sure pitch in a little but you also need to help your one year old learn to self sooth be able to entertain himself a bit. And yes it is hard but he is crying for your attention, he isn’t in any way in need of something at every second when u put him down. It’s just easier to spread things out or if it really that bad then maybe try a baby carrier while u do things so u can still get stuff done. And a bottle sterilizer goes a long way especially if u just wash then as dinner is cooking and sterilize them through dinner so they are ready for the next day. He could help u with doing dishes but, just dont get mad at him when u asked him what was wrong and he was honest u know? It’s a teamwork thing. He’s providing for the family and you are talking care of baby. It’s a give and take

Your husband sounds like mine 😮‍💨

I agree that it sounds like yall are at your wits end. I have found myself the same with my husband (both of us work) that our home is far messier than I would like it to be. And its hard.
Have your son help with putting things away if he is able! Children love helping and it builds great habits. If not, I would carry him in a baby carrier if possible!
I'm sorry you're so discouraged. Being a parent is hard. I hope you have wonderful day and your husband comes around to helping

This sounds very unfair. It’s not easy looking after a small child, being sleep deprived, let alone do all the chores on top. If it’s possible try to hire a cleaner. Also people in the comments saying that he works all day and you get to relax and play with your kid🫠. I worked for years before having kids and it’s definitely easier than being a SAHM so he can definitely pitch in and help you out more if he chooses to.

I have a similar problem with clingy babies and keeping things clean. I had a conversation with my man after noticing him getting upset with the house being a little messy when he’d get home and asked him what his priorities of cleanliness are so that when he got home I’d have those things tidy. For him it was laundry done and kitchen clean so I focused on those things instead of trying to tackle the entire house everyday. I also stopped trying to clean start to finish everyday and clean closer to when I know he’ll be home. It was causing me so much stress and frustration feeling like all I did was try to clean and deal with the kids wanting my attention during that time. Now I will agree with him a little about letting the kids cry a little if you need to get things done especially if they’re fed clean and taken care of and they just want to be held because I have to do that to accomplish things sometimes. most the time a distraction for them works best and crying stops

I was a SAHM for 7 years and In my opinion, men don't think the house is their responsibility if they work and you stay home with the kids. Being a SAHM is a demanding job, but its mom is the job. He is responsible for himself. Pick up after you and the kids he wants you to focus on all that then stop focusing on being his mom too. It's loving to fold his clothes, make his lunch, pick up his shoes or whatever it is you are doing but he is a man and he can clean up after himself. That takes a big load off of you since you have so much to do without help. I started to compare my partnership with my husband's job. If he were to perform the way he does at work when he is home then he would be fired is how I explained it. Being a parent is a two person job and you didn't enter into marriage to do it by yourself. I would suggest that if he doesn't start helping make your presence less and you will see a change. Sometimes when things are too available they get taken for granted.

I’m not even going to address the relationship aspect here though I have a lot of thoughts and can relate heavily - just know you’re doing a great job ❤️

Things that have helped me:

-baskets - if something doesn’t belong in a room it goes into a big basket and I sort through it when I have time

-I put on some music - kids music or my music and I have a cleanup dance party. One song per room and the babies/kids love it. I do as much as possible as quickly as possible to reset each room.

- I clean bathr counters while I brush my teeth. I keep cleaning supplies in each bathroom. Is it a deep clean? No, but i can quickly swipe a paper towel and make it look neater

-pick one area of the house per day to declutter

-meal planning for the week and grocery pickup.. ✨CROCKPOT✨

-laundry will never end EVER, do what you can - let your baby “help” you.

-put whatever intimacy is to you on the calendar - he doesn’t necessarily have to know it’s on your calendar but put it on.

Has he ever had your child on his own for a day? It sounds as though probably not. I wouldn't ask I would tell him I have a hairdresser appointment on this date it's going to be a long appointment, you look after Little one. Then go and relax and have a rare treat leaving him to fend for himself and little one by himself I bet it'll be an eye opener for him to see what you actually contend with day in day out, even something small like going to the toilet is tricky when you have care of a small child on your own xxx

I don't agree with other things I am seeing in the comment section... Sorry to say, but the way he went about the whole thing screams immature and an a-hole. He basically gave you the silent treatment, then acted like an ass basically giving you NO credit for everything that you do. A real man would have sat you down NICELY, stated how he was feeling, but also would have asked how he can help you as well. He put all this bullshit on you, if he said he can do it then he is fully entitled to EVERYTHING himself and see how fast he gets humbled. He would still have to work even if he didn't have a family to look after, so as I have always said on here... That excuse is bullshit