He cheated & I don’t know how to feel
I’ve been married to my husband for almost 2 years so we’re pretty new to this whole thing and for 80% of the relationships we were living in 2 different countries and I would go and visit him (we met on holiday). We now have a 1 year old daughter who I have been solo parenting for all this time until recently when he got his visa and was able to come to the uk. I would love to say we’ve been living the dream but it is far from it. He stays upstairs in the bedroom playing games most of the day or sleeping and I stay in the kitchen cooking and cleaning and looking after our daughter. Don’t get me wrong I actually choose to stay in the kitchen it’s the biggest room and my daughter can play whilst I get everything done. I have found numerous messages over the weeks to girls which he has played off as culture and language differences. I let it slide. Last night I found the worst one. I am 23 my husband is 28 and his woman on the side is 36 with 5 kids. She knows i exist. I have bpd and I crashed hard but for the sake of our daughter I have decided to stay. I just feel so empty and in pain now though because every time I see him I will remember. How do I get out of this pit? What do I do?
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Bare in mind he has claimed it was only messages and has never slept with any of these women
Is he still messaging these women?! Because if he is and they are flirty it will escalate...unless he has made significant changes I wouldn't stay with him, even for the sake of you guys having a kid. Thing is if he is still doing this and you stay and endure she will see that behavior as normal and then have the same relationship/marriage. If your guy is still messaging girls I would leave and find someone who respects you so you can teach your daughter that real men respect their partners.
And I know from experience you don't need to message people to game. I'm a gamer and so is my husband. Gamer messaging is all about the game. Strategy and such. It is never flirty or sexual in nature. I don't call anyone online sweetie or hunny. Those names are reserved for my husband; he does the same thing for me.
Ur whole entire relationship was a lie. Ur only 23 yrs old?!! Please leave before this man take anymore of ur youthful years from u. please don’t let anyone stuff slide cuz ur just creating patterns for ur relationship. Ur so young, please learn to leave when and if relationship doesn’t serve u anymore. U get out of the pit by dumping that cheating husband or it’s. Serve him the divorce papers and go live ur life in peace. U deserve so much better
With all due respect, what are you getting out of this relationship? You said you basically are solo parenting your daughter so you're doing everything on your own as it is. What is he contributing to the relationship that's making you want to stay?? Girl run!! You deserve so much better and someone that will treat you right. And your daughter deserves to see what a true man is and how a true man treats women.
Why do you settle for this ? He doesn't seem to bring anything to the table and disrespect you... Time to leave.
At the beginning of the relationship (2 years in is still the beginning), you are supposed to be full of happiness, love,... He clearly doesn't give any importance to you, your kid and the family you are growing.
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