8 weeks postpartum

How are people prioritising what to do in the short spans of time that you have to yourself with a newborn? My son is napping and will sleep for 10 minutes up to an hour and I don't know where to start. Should I eat? Should I shower? Should I be doing chores? We're nearly 8 weeks postpartum and I'm struggling with self care. I'm always in my pyjamas, in the house and don't eat properly or shower unless my husband is here 🙃 *crosspost*

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Honestly if I've got no plans, I'm sleeping at the same time😅
I give myself a 'to do' list every day though so I keep busy and keep on top of household chores.
I shower when baby is awake, if my partner is awake I pass baby to him for cuddles, but otherwise baby is fine in cot for 10 min.

I priorities me time, whatever makes me feel better. I try and get dressed everyday potentially make plans for the following week or weekend

I’ve found showering at night when my husband’s home, allows me to have breakfast the next day. Otherwise I’m eating biscuits all day 🫠
Also started using the sling properly and game changer!

I do things that can’t be done whilst he is awake/in a sling. I literally think to myself, can I do this whilst he’s asleep on me, if I can I leave it lol.
So generally I’ll nap/shower/get dressed/cook. Cus I can clean, do washing, load dishwasher, put clothes away when he’s strapped to me or happy in the bouncer

Get yourself a carrier.. my 7wk old is in it all the time this week and means I have some freedom to walk around the house and be hands free because she’s going through a ‘do not leave my sight’ phase x

I shower before bed while my husband is home and prep breakfast and lunch for the next day as I would as usual when I'm working so always got something decent to eat x

I do the things I can’t do while wearing him like showering etc. If he wakes up again but isn’t hungry, I’ll just pop him in his carrier and get myself some food. We often have contact naps together as we cosleep. Sometimes he doesn’t go down at all so I have to wait for my partner to get home from work to shower 🤣x

in our community

2 LOs in nursery too much financially?

I have a 18m old and now feel like I'm in a place to start trying for a 2nd child soon. We are 35 & 37 too and don't want to wait too long.
The thing that holds us back from adding another child is finances. Even though we are both on fairly good salaries, both £65k (when full time). Our largest bills are mortgage and nursery.
I work part time at the moment to keep nursery cost down to around £400 a month and spend time with my child, our parents still work full time and cannot look after our child in the week om a regular basis.

My question is how do people make is work when having a second child? Ive heard of some nurseries give a small discount for 2nd child in nursery, are preschools or nurseries at school cheaper?

I dont think me being a stay at home mum would work, my husband couldnt cover all the bills himself on a £60k household income.
But cant imagine how we'd make it work paying £800 a month for childcare for 2 (for 3 days nusery).

If you have similar situation and making it work please let me know to give me hope 🙏 🙂

Husbands comments cut deep

I'm really hurt by something that happened tonight and need your opinions.

My husband told me that I need to do more for our baby because he put him to sleep tonight and then I asked him to handle one overnight shift of burping and soothing him back to sleep. He told me I’m not grateful for my child and that I don’t do enough. Hearing that was upsetting because I feel like I'm already carrying the majority of the childcare and household responsibilities. I had wanted this at so badly for so long, and every second of my life revolves around him. Starting from when I got pregnant.

I'm currently on maternity leave and am with our baby all day, every day. I exclusively breastfeed, feeding him every two hours during the day and every three to four hours at night. Most of the time, I'm the one who puts him to sleep and also the one who burps him, soothes him, and puts him back down after feedings (which we all know can take a few transfers to stick). I've researched and purchased everything we own for the baby, created his nap schedule and bedtime routine, and spend my days doing activities with him to support his development. He has no idea how many hours of sleep he even needs during the day or night or how many naps it should be split into, let alone what milestones he should be hitting or what activities promote his development towards those milestones. I also handle the bedtime routine, including bathing, massage, and singing to him.

On top of that, I do essentially all of the household chores, cleaning, laundry, cooking, taking care of our dogs. My husband's regular responsibilities are mowing the lawn and taking out the trash, and recently he started helping with bath time after I specifically asked him to because I want him to have bonding time with his son.

What hurts most is that his comments make me feel like all of the things I do every day aren't being seen or valued. I don't expect parenting to be perfectly equal, but being told I need to do more when I already feel stretched thin left me feeling unappreciated, frustrated, and honestly a little defeated.

Am I really not doing enough?

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My MIL is dying of cancer. She is currently in hospice. I am in two minds - my 4 year old should not see her grandma in such a state and should only have good memories of her grandma. The other part of me wants her to see grandma so she can say goodbye and understand, when the time comes, that grandma is not coming back. My husband doesn't see any good in bringing her to see her sick grandma. We’re not too worried about our 1-year-old, as he barely spent any time with grandma, but our 4 year old remembers her as the gift-giver and keeps mentioning how excited she is for Xmas because grandma is going to get her lots of presents.

U.C childcare costs reporting

I reported childcare costs but was not given a link to attach documents like I usually do. Anyone know if things have changed?