I DONT like it

I’ll start by saying …I don’t care for sex ! It’s cool or whatever but I could go the rest of my life not having sex and I’d be cool! I enjoy pleasing myself but it’s all mid to me ! I’ve been this way since I was a teenager …it’s not for me! With that being said my husband and I have known eachother since grade school, we dated in college, had A LOT of sex for years, now have 9 kids and despite popular belief we don’t do it often! We’ve struggled a bit and dealt with homelessness for a great deal of our grown up relationship and even in our own home it was always something. My husband developed a gambling problem after we had our 3rd child and it’s just been down hill since then, that was in 2017! I say that to say ontop of it not being a care for me …life absolutely got in the way and turned me off! The person he became turned me off and I don’t know how to explain this to him without being cruel. He is overly sexual and could and wants to do something sexual everyday and all day! He says it’s how he feels connected to me. Makes him feel wanted and when I don’t give it to him he feels rejected! I take all the blame because I know that I deprive him him more than normal but at the same time he should understand why, whether that’s my personal reasons or him turning me off. He truly is my bestfriend. -A lot of women get the raw end of the deal and I don’t feel like I have. He goes to work, he’s the one that cooks, he’s a great dad day to day & would give me the world! He used to give understanding because he’s know I don’t care for sex but now it’s an active argument in our marriage. I don’t know what to do. I tell him if he would step up as a man it might make me wanna to have sex but instead he feels like I should just give it to him! Suck his d*ck cause he had a bad day! Am I wrong ? I’ve never worried about him cheating honestly that’s never been a thing between us but now he’s like “I need a gf” “you keep saying you don’t like it but gave it to this guy and that guy why not me.” Etc I dont want to give in but tired of this being a thing! Sometimes I find myself thinking “can this just be over” and the sex is good, I just don’t want to!

in our community

If your partner committed a crime and got a jail sentence, would it be akin to them cheating on you in the sense of it being that big of a betrayal?

That’s how I feel. It would be an absolute betrayal to do something so stupid that it landed him in jail and took him away from his family and all his responsibilities. It’s selfish.

Context, me and my partner are having a debate.

If you were interested in someone but at last minute disclosed to you that they were “happily” married. Would you continue to entertain?

This person came up to you by the way and asked for your number and wanted ti get to know you more.

Should I leave him?

I met my partner a couple of years ago, we had our ups and downs but generally our relationship was quite positive. Last year we decided to start a family. This was a joint decision. There was no pressure on his side about 6 months before we started trying. We had a conversation and I said there's no pressure. Just let me know when you're ready. And 6 months later he told me he wanted to start trying for a family. Everything was okay at first when I conceived but then problems started. I was very unwell in pregnancy and he didn't look after me. He would always try to send me off to my mom's and he sometimes left me ill in bed whilst he was gaming. He used to make comments to me about it not being the pregnancy he expected and that maybe he wouldn't have had a family if he'd have known how difficult it was going to be. Which I found quite hurtful given I was going through a difficult pregnancy. Once we had the baby things became worse. He had a breakdown the day that my son was born. Rather than helping me he sat in a corner crying watching me basically ripping myself trying to pick up my son and feed him whilst carrying around my own urine bag. I found this really hard because the first few weeks I had to be a solo parent despite having a C-section which was really hard. Despite all of this I tried to forgive but when our son was 5 months old I found out that he had been flirting and sending messages on Snapchat to a girl that he was working with. I saw messages where they were asking each other if they were tempted and making jokes about ending up for each other's houses if they went on to a do together. Also I feel conscious about my body and he's telling her he liked the pictures he'd seen and would like to see more if he could. Meanwhile, I'm sat at home caring for his baby. He even had the audacity to talk about this girl in front of me at dinner one day before I knew and told me she was a lovely person who was looking for someone like him. He still tells me now that it was only banter but he wouldn't have been happy if I'd would have done it and they're still working together now.
Do you think I should leave? I don't think this is a healthy relationship, I don't feel valued and all he cares about is gaming.

I DONT like it

Why does it feel like I am the only one struggling

I feel like I am failing my kids. I just can’t get them friends. I am not the most extroverted and have quite a boring life but I do try my best to reach out to people but no one seems interested and it’s hard because my kids don’t have friends because I don’t have any mum friends with kids for them to play with. I look around and all mums have a friend and are taking their kids on play dates and I don’t have that at all. I feel my kids being shy is my fault for not trying harder to get a mum friends for them to make friends with their kids. I know I am rambling but I am hurt and feel so helpless that I am failing my kids social aspect.

Close friendships after 30

I'm a 38 year old woman and have lived in Melbourne my whole life. I feel like I'm the only person I know who has little to no close friends/best friends. I have had close friendships through the years, highschool, uni, new jobs. But I feel like in the past 5 to 10 years they've all fizzled out. One of my closest friends has moved interstate. We catch-up when she comes to Melbourne over Christmas, and check-in via text sporadically but not consistently. I have another old friend from uni who I catch-up with twice a year, but it's always with our families not 1:1. I have made some mum friends over the last couple of years, and still see one semi-regularly but usually more in the play date context rather than 1:1. I honestly don't know how I have managed to not have any close girlfriends at my age. Am I the only one?!

I DONT like it

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in our community

If your partner committed a crime and got a jail sentence, would it be akin to them cheating on you in the sense of it being that big of a betrayal?

If you were interested in someone but at last minute disclosed to you that they were “happily” married. Would you continue to entertain?

Should I leave him?

I DONT like it

Why does it feel like I am the only one struggling

Close friendships after 30