Tell me if I’m wrong ???
I’ll start by saying …I don’t care for sex ! It’s cool or whatever but I could go the rest of my life not having sex and I’d be cool! I enjoy pleasing myself but it’s all mid to me ! I’ve been this way since I was a teenager …it’s not for me! With that being said my husband and I have known eachother since grade school, we dated in college, had A LOT of sex for years, now have 9 kids and despite popular belief we don’t do it often! We’ve struggled a bit and dealt with homelessness for a great deal of our grown up relationship and even in our own home it was always something. My husband developed a gambling problem after we had our 3rd child and it’s just been down hill since then, that was in 2017! I say that to say ontop of it not being a care for me …life absolutely got in the way and turned me off! The person he became turned me off and I don’t know how to explain this to him without being cruel. He is overly sexual and could and wants to do something sexual everyday and all day! He says it’s how he feels connected to me. Makes him feel wanted and when I don’t give it to him he feels rejected! I take all the blame because I know that I deprive him him more than normal but at the same time he should understand why, whether that’s my personal reasons or him turning me off. He truly is my bestfriend. -A lot of women get the raw end of the deal and I don’t feel like I have. He goes to work, he’s the one that cooks, he’s a great dad day to day & would give me the world! He used to give understanding because he’s know I don’t care for sex but now it’s an active argument in our marriage. I don’t know what to do. I tell him if he would step up as a man it might make me wanna to have sex but instead he feels like I should just give it to him! Suck his d*ck cause he had a bad day! Am I wrong ? I’ve never worried about him cheating honestly that’s never been a thing between us but now he’s like “I need a gf” “you keep saying you don’t like it but gave it to this guy and that guy why not me.” Etc I dont want to give in but tired of this being a thing! Sometimes I find myself thinking “can this just be over” and the sex is good, I just don’t want to!
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I don’t think sex is the issue. If he’s not playing his part and not making you feel good day to day you don’t deel like getting into bed! Maybe have some time apart or some time together away from day to day life
I do feel like men feel more connected when they connect physically. I totally understand what you’re feeling, but if you reframe your mindset from it being “sex” to it being just “connecting”, you’ll want to do it more often…and sometimes it’s only 15/20 out your day lol. Think of the characteristics that turn you on or the things he does that you appreciate so much, replay those thoughts often in your head. Daily…even if you’re in an argument…take your mind to those thoughts and watch how you desire to connect more. For us women, our thoughts control our body, our desire, our mood, everything lol. It’s really difficult to ask someone to do this or do that to help you be more attracted to them…instead you have to dig deep and focus on what they already do, and once you become more connected start bringing up what you would like more of.
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