AITA?

So I’m currently going thru postpartum rage, and it’s been very hard. Everyday is a struggle. I’m mentally drained and physically exhausted. I don’t have a spark in me like I used to and I hate it so much but I’m trying.

My bf wants to have a family day at the park with our kids (1 and 5). It’s very last minute. He told me about it maybe 4 hours ago. Anyway, I get myself and the kids ready (I was taking a nap and he woke me up tb “get up let’s get ready to go. I get about 5-6 hours of sleep every night). I put on a wig, some clothes to cover my legs (I haven’t shaved and my hair isn’t done) and a hat. I do my daughter’s hair and she’s tender-headed so it’s a struggle. I’m also diabetic and switched drs and my new dr didn’t have any appts available until late July so I’ve been without a sensor and a pump for 6 months and it’s VERY INCONVENIENT. So I’m dealing with a lot.

My bf walks up to me, takes my hat off also pulling my wig off, and runs away. I get very irritated. Tell him give me my hat back, which he doesn’t, then I lock myself in our room bc I just need to breathe and take a minute. Hes outside the door saying “if you don’t open this door I’m not buying you any food or anything and you can say goodbye to that nap you wanted.” Our 5 year old tells him to give me my hat back and raises her voice. He tells her no and then pops her for raising her voice.

I know that this could’ve been avoided, but he does things like this all the time and I’m just so sick of it. Am I wrong g for getting mad?

in our community

Boy moms do you feel this way?

I have only boys. The early years it was mainly me that did everything as they need mama a lot through the newborn toddler stage etc. it’s still mainly me but the past year I have noticed a big change now they are growing older and more mature and more male influenced.

Their dad is a lot more physically involved now as they’re getting older boys and doing a lot of boy stuff together. I spend 99% of my time being more like a ‘boy’ myself as I’m always doing boy stuff with the kids and generally as a family, from what shows/movies we watch, to days out, activities and sports it’s all boy related.

I already feel lonely as I don’t have friends etc and my kids are my world. When they’re having boy time with their dad only and I’m not involved I feel really lonely and upset and I’m feeling sad that this will only become worse. For example, they’re currently watching a tv show (boy stuff) and I always sit and watch with them (that way I’m still involved and bonding) but my husband asked me for some space so they can have boy time…

It’s hit me hard now I’m feeling sad, I don’t have ‘girl time’ because I don’t have daughters, I don’t have friends and my mom/sisters I see only here and there.

Do you boy moms feel this way? Did you notice a shift?

When dad has baby and you hear them cry, do you try to take over?

My partner tells me he can’t get him to settle down the way I do & I can see it frustrates him. So I instinctively want to reach for him and take care of him, but my partner says no so I back off.

Should I let dad handle it or should I intervene?

Is being good financially thx to my husband makes me wrong to complain ?

I have an almost 1y and a just 2y.
My husband works a lot he’s gone from 9:30am to 10pm. Just 2weeks ago, he was wfh. And now it just feel so much easier with him gone bc it’s a mouth less to feed so less cooking less cleaning, less drama with my 1st shouting at the door of the room for his dad to come. Also less stress about the noise.
So I realized, I’m just alone, he isn’t helping. More than that every morning before he leaves we spent a bit of time, and I feel like I fight everyday to make him respect our routine. I have to ask several times everything and I end up doing it all alone.
Our 2nd is difficult, she shout a lot for nothing, she’s a sensible baby I would say. It’s hard it’s overwhelming and my husband keeps saying I’m super wrong to not let her cry and make her learn. Well sometimes I do but it’s my last last option. She’s a baby who can only express herself with crying so yes I’m a « slave to her » but I’m just a mom doing the best I can
We argued, and I told my husband that I’m fed up with the critized of my parenting while I’m doing alone and I fucking feel so alone. I have no help zero. My husband doesn’t understand that doing a few dishes here a there isn’t helping.
Then he told me how bless I am and I should be as we live with the sea & swimming pool in front of our house, no financial worry and a cleaner coming 3x a week.
I do feel very very blessed but I just want to have a supporting partner who tells me how hard I try to do the best for my kids, and to listen to me. He took it as a personal attack that I told him he was not helping while he works a lot to give us this life. I just feel so alone and misunderstood but I hurted him

Am I being unrealistic/ unreasonable

Am I being unreasonable to expect my husband to be able to promise/commit to picking up the kids from nursery/school at least once a week no matter what.

We both work full time (he is the main earner) and I am just asking that every Wednesday he collects the kids without fail. He’s saying he can’t commit to that in case he has a meeting/ has to work away.

However have to commit to ensuring they are collected every other day so why can’t he do the same just for one day?

I see this as putting work first. Am I in the wrong?

I need to vent....

My mother never babysits. She's one of those grandparents.

She's watched him for a total of 6 times since he's been born. He's 4 years old now.

Anyway, the last time was last night. She was upset because he didn't listen to her when she asked him to do something.

When we got home, she started complaining to us and saying "I really think you should work on x, y, z with him".

I'm sorry what? You know why he didn't listen to you right? You barely know him and he barely knows you.

I am raaaagingggggggggg. How dare she? How dare anyone? What the fuuuuck

How are you splitting childcare with partner?

There's probably a million posts like this on here! My partner has gone back to work (work from home) but its a very meeting heavy job so essentially he may as well be out the house.

How are you splitting the childcare? I'm exclusively pumping so that means he does the feeds from 10pm till 3am then I am doing onwards until he finishes work at 5.

But it's then splitting the time after work and dividing the time on the weekends that I'm not sure how to balance!

I get frustrated sometimes because she sleeps during his evening "shift" and he counts that as having her but my perspective is if she is just sleeping then it's not really having to do anything much so it shouldn't really count in terms of how much of a break we both get!