When dad has baby and you hear them cry, do you try to take over?

I always step back otherwise they never learn then a lot of women complain that their men are hopeless but they never actually gave them the space for them to work it out

Definitely let him figure out a way! :) obviously give baby a break at some point but for us it was easiest when I got out of the house in the beginning.

My response to my husband was
“And how do you think I learned how to do it? No one taught me.”
He claimed basic instinct, I said he was in the NICU try again.
I let them figure it out together
He now @ 17months (and for awhile) can calm him. Handle him completely by himself for the day. And put him to bed when needed.

Let him handle it unless obviously he’s so frustrated he needs to step away. He needs to find a way to settle baby down as well. The way you settle the baby down will not always work for another person and if you continue to step in dad is going to one feel like he can’t do it and two baby is going to get used to you being the only one to comfort them. It may take a minute for him to figure out what works for him but he eventually will! One of the things my husband found to work for him when I would shower and our daughter was distraught was showing her a picture of me 😆 point being though that’s not something I ever would have thought of or suggested for him to even do. She’s now 15 months and absolutely loves hanging out with her dad!

He’s every bit as capable as you are, the trick is to make sure you both understand that your baby is a person too, if you let them they’ll choose what parent will bring them the comfort they need in the moment & they’ll learn to adapt when only one of the parents is available. My hubs & I were pretty good at playing tag when our youngest was born, any frustration & we’d tag out, passing him back & forth. It might be difficult to do as a new mom bc we’re kinda programmed to protect, but so are dads, so share it, plus, my hubs wasn’t around for our oldest until 3.5yo, so I endured those harder tantrums alone bc my ex left it to me, but sharing those worst tantrums that occur w/the primary parent took a ton of weight off me & I never felt like my youngest hated me bc he acted better for everyone else, I was able to see he felt safe w/us & that’s why he shared all his big feelings w/us. It truly did wonders for my mental health sharing that load & now our son is 4y & evenly attached to us

Very helpful tips ladies, thank you!

I step in after a minute. I think babies are wired to calm down for mum and I’m not gonna force him. He’s gone through phases of calming for his dad and then not calming for him so I take his lead and won’t force him to calm down for him.

No I’ll only step in after like 10-20 minutes of seeing him actually trying to get baby to settle and he can’t.
I don’t want the baby to only depend on me and I don’t want dad getting the habit of just handing the baby over once they start crying.